


i'm fearless with my heart

by dontletmedown



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Anxious Harry, Bottom Harry, Cheating, Daddy Kink, Daddy Louis, Dom Louis, Endgame Larry, Feminine Harry, Feminization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Harry in Panties, Infidelity, JUST PLEASE REMEMBER, Louis still protects his baby, M/M, Mpreg, Okay this is gonna be wild lets go, Older Harry, Pet Names, Public Sex, Rimming, Sex Toys, Shy Harry, Slut Shaming, Sub Harry, Top Louis, Younger Louis, abusive language, age gap, huge age gap, mostly that but the angst is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 01:44:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5271887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontletmedown/pseuds/dontletmedown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when your heart is in one place and your brain that's trying to keep you sane is only holding on by a thin thread?</p><p> </p><p>[The one where a young Louis is naive and fearless with his heart when he meets a very married Harry. </p><p>He possibly doesn't stand a chance.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm fearless with my heart

**Author's Note:**

> Wowowowowowo okay I have been working on this monster since March. It's been a wild ride with this baby and I want to thank my darling Avah for even bringing up this idea. Bringing it to life. If it wasn't for her, this fic wouldn't have even existed and it's so very different but in the best way. I'm glad I was able to contribute. 
> 
> This fic is our baby. I'm so proud and I must say it was hard to write but I made it through.
> 
> Now I do NOT condone infidelity. And you will see that it's not rainbows and butterflies through it all. Even if it is with our beloved Larents, it's still not okay or easy. You don't feel good about cheating. 
> 
> You shouldn't at least. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this. 
> 
> Title comes from Save My Heart by Jason Reeves

 

 

Louis owed Liam. Big time. Scoring a job was honestly the hardest thing nineteen year old Louis Tomlinson could do considering the fact he was fired from every workplace he set foot in. This was different though, at least he thought so.

The library was calm and serene and all he had to do was put books in shelves and help Mrs. Adams check them out. The atmosphere didn’t give him a migraine and he could goof off with Liam who would come in and study for his exams that Louis completely ignored because he was a shit Uni student who was too busy trying to buy his next guitar rather than study for a test.

It was easy to get lost in the library and simply gaze around to people watch and that’s what Louis did quite often. You’d see your typical uni students trying to cram as much as they could for some assignment they procrastinated on, a few cheerful kids skipping over towards the kids’ section that was decorated quite warmly like the living room of a homey house, and then you’d see the loners who came almost every single day not looking for anything in particular and just aimlessly wandering the building.

There was one person that Louis just couldn’t figure out, no matter how long he watched him. But technically it wasn't a bad thing because it gave Louis the opportunity to stare at the man longer than needed.

He was just so pretty.

His face was so soft, and he looked extremely delicate despite the fact that Louis was almost positive he was a few years older than him, maybe about four? His hair was a long curly brown down towards his shoulders that he sometimes wore in a bun or pulled half up and the rest down. He even wore a few headscarves every now and then to acquaint his large sweaters that swallowed his slim figure.

His lips were so plump and pretty and some days they’d look a bit red and swollen and others they’d look so soft and pink and Louis wanted to just lean over and kiss him hard every time he saw him, just to get a taste and feel of that pretty mouth.

The funny thing about this man was the fact that he was always in the romance novel section, reading the ones with the cheesy long haired Fabio holding a girl close or a Nicholas Sparks book where the couples are always close to each others faces, so close to kissing. The man would spend the entire afternoon some days reading these books, a frown believe it or not on his face the entire time.

Louis could’ve sworn one day when the man was reading a romance book he was actually crying. He could tell he hadn’t been trying to make it obvious since he covered his mouth with his sleeve covered hand and turned the page with the other, sniffing quietly.

Once the man left Louis had made the effort to see the book he had been reading. “Sound Heart, Shallow Love” it had said. Apparently it was about a woman in a neglectful relationship “trying to break free”.

When he opened the book, he couldn’t help but to notice the wet spots on the yellowed pages throughout the book and he was almost certain they were from teardrops.

❤  
“What’s his name?” Louis asks in awe from across the library where the same curly haired man was sitting now. He has on a pair of black glasses framing his green eyes and his long hair covered just a little by a purple beanie.

Liam hums and looks up from his textbook over to where the tattooed boy was looking and snorts with a headshake. “Bad Idea,” he simply says in response.

Louis scoffs and turns towards the boy. “What are you talking about?”

“Bad Idea. That’s it. His name is Harry. He like, works part time at the school and he’s thirty four and too old for you and married from what I hear. So... Bad Idea,” he goes on with a snort before looking back down at his books.

Louis’ eyes slightly widen. “Thirty four? You’re such liar, mate. He’s not thirty four,” he continues as his eyes focus on the man who may have felt his strong gaze because seconds later his eyes look up around the room before they meet Louis'. Harry bites his lip immediately and darts his eyes back down towards his book, a really noticeable blush forming on his face.

That only makes Louis smile just a smidgen.

“He is,” Liam sighs, closing his book and opening another. “And he’s bad news. Well, not really. But don’t get yourself into any shit trying to talk to him. He's literally twice your age and married. That’s a red flag. That’s like eight million red flags being shot out of a cannon straight towards you.”

Louis rolls his eyes and turns to look over at Liam again. “You’ve been studying too much. You’ve lost touch of what it’s like to communicate with real people.”

Liam sighs heavily. “I’m serious Louis,” he urges, but the tattooed boy is already hopping over the front desk from where he was supposed to be adding labels to books and starts to walk away.

“And so am I Li,” he calls over his shoulder as he begins to walk over towards Harry who's sitting comfortably tucked away reading yet another romance novel but this time there were two guys on the cover.

“So, do you ever like, actually check out these books?” Louis asks, pulling a chair out from the table and turning it backwards so he could sit down chest facing the back of the chair, because obviously sitting normally in chairs was for losers.

Harry looks up startled, eyes slightly big as his mouth opens and then closes before opening again. “Um, not really?” A slow deep voice sounds which catches Louis a little off guard, but it doesn't stop him from staring right into those beautiful green eyes. “I guess I’m a fast reader. I have a lot of free time on my hands too so I just… read it all here.”

Louis could tell the man was nervous from the way he was subconsciously fussing with the plastic covering of the hardback, peeling it off anxiously. He was basically damaging the book, but Louis wasn’t going to say anything.

Louis hums and reaches over to touch the book, giving Harry a look to ask if it was okay and soon taking it when the man answers with a jerky nod and a weak smile. “Open: A tale of a lost love that is found again?” Louis reads before looking up at Harry with a raised eyebrow.

Harry blushes immensely and grips the edge of the table. “I thought it was cute!” He says in defense causing Louis to chuckle.

“I guess if you’re into the whole cheesy romance novel thing which it seems like you are considering the fact that’s all you read when you come here.”

Harry slightly frowns, looking a bit hurt which causes Louis to immediately shake his head. “And nothing’s wrong with that!” Louis assures. “Really. I mean you go read your romance novels. They probably give you a better sense of hope than this dump we call the real world,” he goes on with an eyeroll, handing Harry his book back.

The man smiles softly as he takes the book before pushing his glasses up his nose again. “I’m Harry,” he says, placing the book facedown so he wouldn’t lose his spot.

“Louis,” the younger boy says back smoothly, resting his chin on his folded arms. “Do I get a last name?” He then asks with a raised eyebrow and a little smirk and okay maybe he shouldn’t be doing this. Like really, really shouldn’t be doing this flirting thing.

Harry was married for God’s sake and he was older… So, so much older. But his aura screamed young, innocent, delicate. He looked like he begged to be taken care of and protected. The way he carried his body seemed so young and submissive and Louis was so interested. Just to get to know the man. Just to see little things about him.

Harry giggles slightly and plays with the sleeve of his sweater, a flash of the wedding ring catching Louis’ eye momentarily before he looks back up. “Um, Styles,” he says awkwardly. “Well, no it’s Styles-Evans because like, it’s hyphenated but my husband only goes by Evans for work and so I just assume that I can just keep saying Styles and oh my I’m talking way too much. I’m sorry,” he stammers, gently slapping his face before wrinkling his nose cutely. “Just Styles,” he finally says with a defeated sigh.

Louis laughs fondly, finding him incredibly endearing. Which was also a cue for him to leave now before his fast feelings got the best of him. Before they make him so attached to this man he barely even knew. This married man he barely knew.

Louis traces his fingers over his knuckle tattoos out of habit before humming. “Tomlinson. My last name’s Tomlinson,” he says as he cocks his head to the side, eyes never leaving Harry’s that were so soft and green though they looked a bit hesitant and anxious, no matter the smile on his face.

“S’nice name,” Harry says. “Louis Tomlinson. Romance novel quality.” He giggles at his own joke which only makes Louis smile even bigger.

“Harry Styles. Runway model quality.”

Harry wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. “Um no.”

Louis’ eyes widen, though a smirk begins to spread across his face again. “Why a no?”

Harry scoffs and rolls his eyes towards the ceiling. “I’m like the clumsiest person ever. I trip over everything and God I’d probably rip everything they give me to put on,” he then giggles, covering his mouth with his sweater paw.

Louis shrugs in return before drumming his knuckles on the wooden table. “You could so do editorial stuff. Be in the magazines and billboards and pose in pictures,” he goes on. “I bet once you hit that runway you’d be perfect. You’ve got the looks. You’re quite beautiful if you don’t mind me saying.”

The older man bites his lip sharply and plays with the plastic of the book again before fiddling with a charm bracelet on his other wrist. “N-No I don’t mind,” he finally answers, looking up at Louis again. “And thank you.” There was an obvious blush on his cheeks which only causes Louis to smile big in return and God he's such a fucking asshole.

 

❤

“Liam,” Louis groans loudly, leaning his entire weight on the shopping cart he was pushing down the aisle of the grocery store. “I swear you are the worst person to shop with. Sugar is sugar! It all tastes the fucking same!”

“No it does not! That’s like saying all water tastes the same,” Liam retorts as he looks between two different brands of sugar before finally deciding on one and dropping it in the basket.

Louis glares at the back of his stupid head as they continue to walk down the aisle. “I hate being your roommate. So much.”

Liam looks over his shoulder and snorts. “Well move out.”

“Maybe I will. Then I can play my guitar all night and not have to worry about you whining about some stupid psychology homework. Who even majors in psychology anymore?”

“I’ll have you know psychology is coming back and it will definitely be needed when the world is replaced by robots and our human brains start to slowly turn into mush,” Liam explains as he drops a few cans of beans in the cart.

Louis rolls his eyes and continues to push their cart, muttering under his breath about how he was going to choke Liam one day until his eyes meet a very adorable looking Harry Styles at the frozen food section, a basket of microwave meals nestled into his side. Louis looks over his shoulder back over towards Liam who was trying to pick out which bag of rice to get before leaving the cart altogether. He stuffs his hands in the pockets of his hoodie as he walks over towards the older man who was in another large sweater and a headscarf but no glasses perched on his face this time.

“So I’m thinking you should be spending your next library trip reading cookbooks?” He jokes in amusement as he leans against the glass door beside the one Harry had opened.

The older man jumps a little and looks over in confusion before his face softens when he recognizes Louis. A sad smile spreads across his face before he shrugs. “I’m actually a pretty decent cook. I love to cook. It’s just, my husband he’s always gone for work so I don’t really see the point in making these really big meals anymore. I haven’t went like, serious grocery shopping in weeks so this is what I stock up on.” He raises the basket of frozen meals up just a little as a gesture before shrugging again.

That was honestly the saddest thing to imagine. A fond Harry bustling around in the kitchen, excitedly preparing up a delicious meal for his husband and then getting a call from him saying that he wouldn’t make it, repeatedly and repeatedly until Harry just gave up.

“So you really haven’t had a decent cooked meal in weeks?” Louis finally asks, eyebrows knitting together.

Harry weakly smiles and bites his lip. “Guilty,” he softly laughs humorlessly before it was interrupted by the younger boy taking his basket and setting it down carelessly in the middle of the aisle.

“Let’s change that tonight.”

“What are you doing?” Harry stammers as Louis stands on his toes to look around the shop, hand gripping Harry’s arm tightly before he spotted Liam.

He turns back towards Harry. “Wait here for me at the front door,” he says before jogging off towards Liam who had finally dropped the rice in the cart as he was making his way over. Dumbass.

“Hey don’t wait up for me, alright?” He says causing Liam’s eyebrows to knit together in confusion.

“What?”

“Ran into someone from Uni who needs help with some stage speakers so I’m gonna ride with them. Don’t wait up,” he lies quickly before turning back around and jogging over towards the front where Harry is standing awkwardly in his pair of rainboots and skinny jeans, fiddling with the hem of his sweater nervously. His teeth are tugging at his bottom lip desperately before his eyes spot Louis again and the same tiny smile begins to spread across his face again.

“Where we going?” He asks with a little laugh as Louis grabs his wrist and begins to tug him out of the grocery store.

“To take over the world Mr. Styles. And of course get you a proper meal while your dickhead of a husband goes out and eats big fancy dinners with his colleagues,” he teases, almost immediately regretting it because well, they’d just met and it wasn’t his place to call Harry’s husband a dickhead. It was probably his immature nineteen year old brain speaking through jealousy. Eh.

Harry doesn’t seem too offended though and Louis even manages to get another cute giggle to leave the older man’s lips. “Honestly, I’d like that. I’ll pay of course. Don’t want you spending any money on me if that was your intention.”

Louis clicks his tongue as they stand outside of the small grocery store. “So here’s the thing. I’m definitely paying for the both of us and secondly I rode here with my friend so I can’t really drive us anywhere.” Good job Louis. Really thought this one through. But that was his thing. Doing and not really thinking.

Harry bites his lip and shakes his head. “I have my car and you’re not paying for me Louis. End of discussion.”

Louis snorts. “Alright, alright. Keep telling yourself that. But in the end it’s my treat,” he says as he follows Harry towards a silver Range Rover. He can’t help but to whistle at the clean paint job and the view of the interior through the windows. “Nice one you got here.”

Harry wrinkles his nose and shrugs. “I guess. I don’t drive it much. Well I don’t drive much anywhere to be honest. I either walk to the library or just don’t really leave my house,” he jokes as he presses the button to unlock the doors and walks over to his side of the expensive car.

Louis couldn’t help the practically sympathetic look he gives Harry when he spoke, the older man immediately looking away with a headshake. He starts up the car once they are both buckled in, soon taking off down the road. “So where are you taking me?” Harry giggles slightly, eyes focusing on the road and his hands completely on the whole ten and two position on the wheel like how they tell you how to drive when you’re first learning. It was pretty endearing how careful Harry seemed with just about everything. It was the complete opposite of Louis and well you know what they say… Opposites certainly do attract.

Wait.

Pause.

Fuck. Forget that Harry was thirty four for a second. Louis honestly didn’t care about that bit. Harry was married. Beweded. In a long term relationship. Louis didn't stand a chance. He never would.

But it didn’t mean they couldn’t be friends right? He could handle it.

He blinks out of his deep thoughts when he notices Harry’s hand waving in front of him. He bites his lip and looks over, the older man’s eyebrows knitted together and his eyes bright in amusement. God he was so… Just so fucking cute. How was that even possible?

Louis laughs awkwardly and shakes his head. “Um, there’s this place I go to a lot. Italian joint. Great prices. Near Frankford Street?” He goes on as they come to a stop at a red light.

Harry purses his lips as if he were trying to come up with exactly where Louis was talking about until his eyes widen. “Oh, yeah! I know where you’re talking about! I’ve never been. I’ve always wanted to. Just never had the time I guess. Or person to go with really. My friends are all you know, busy with their lives. Successful jobs and whatnot. Starting... Starting families…” He trails off with a sigh that almost sounded dreamy, like it was something he too longed for.

Louis must’ve had the most sympathetic look on his face because next thing he knew Harry was getting completely riled up. “I really hope you’re not doing this because you feel sorry for me. My life is perfectly fine and if you’re doing this out of pity then I really don’t need it,” he goes on, driving with sweater paws now as he grips the wheel tightly, driving in the direction of Frankford.

Louis’ eyes immediately widen before he shakes his head. “No, no way! I’m not that kind of guy. Trust me. I just… I just want to be your friend. That okay?” Louis asks as he rubbed at his arm. “S’not a crime is it?” He then jokingly adds on to lighten up the mood.

Harry sniffs and bites his lip as if he were suppressing the biggest smile, which it actually seemed like because the corners of his lips were completely upturned. “No, it’s not,” he finally whispers, shaking his head with a giggle.

❤

“So I’m getting the seafood fettuccini alfredo. What are you getting, love?” Louis smoothly asks, hoping the ‘love’ bit wasn’t a bit much, but it didn’t seem much of a bad thing for Harry since the older man simply smiles sweetly from behind his menu at Louis before looking back down.

“Um, I think I’m getting the um, that Mediterranean pasta. This one?” Harry murmurs as he set the menu down and points to the picture of the dish.

Louis looks over and hums with a nod. “Damn, that looks good. Let me have a bite when you get it?” He jokingly asks but Harry nods with a cute shrug.

“If you insist so much on paying then I can allow you to have a tiny bite,” he teases before taking a sip of his water.

Louis chuckles and closes his menu before resting his chin in his hands. “So tell me more about yourself Harry Styles. You seem so interesting.”

Harry wrinkles his nose. “I’m really not. Like, um.. Okay I volunteer at the Uni and um I teach this sewing class and like I teach creative writing...” He trails off.

Louis was in love. Already. Harry was just so delicate. He exuded this calm and quiet and pretty nature that Louis just didn’t come across everyday. It was something he never thought he’d see in someone that was Harry’s age honestly. The man was sitting across the table with sweater paws yet again, biting his cherry red lips and looking around the restaurant in interest. He was so pretty. From the way his scarf was mixed in through his hair to the way he giggled at the silliest things and had the punniest jokes.

He was honestly someone that deserved to be cherished and his husband was doing a shitty job.

Louis purses his lips. “Why are you still with him?” He hears himself suddenly blurt out.

Harry’s eyes widen and he turns to look at Louis in confusion. “Excuse me?”

Louis knew he fucked up as soon a the words left his lips but there was no holding back now. He was young. He was naive. He was stupid. He had nothing to lose, but he had a lot of room to learn and grow.

“Why are you still with him, Harry? Look I know we just met and it’s not my place to say anything, but your husband is doing a really shit job of being a husband. I mean when was the last time he even came back home? You told me you never even eat home cooked meals anymore because you’re tired of wasting food on him because he never shows and like, you’re always reading those romance novels in the library as if that’s something you’re just desperately longing for and he’s not giving it to you. You deserve better--.”

“Shut up! Shut. Up. You know nothing about my relationship and how dare you even put in your two cents when you barely know me,” Harry replies, voice raising an octave causing a number of guests to look over at them. His eyes were wide and Louis knew he completely screwed up, maybe everything. The way Harry was looking at him was with an expression he could never imagine the man could even put on. It was so… so mean and angry and just… not Harry like Louis had learned from the few days they’ve spoken to each other.

Louis immediately shakes his head, leaning in closer to the table to talk lowly. To get Harry to lower his voice again. “I-I’m sorry. Look forget I said anything okay. It’s not my place. It wasn’t my place. It--.”

“You’re right! It’s not your place. You’re just… You’re just a kid. You don’t know anything about marriage or relationships or love or… or anything.”

At that point, Harry’s eyes were watering and his bottom lip was quivering tremendously. In that moment he reverted to the sweet and shy, innocent looking Harry that Louis was sure had caught him hook line and sinker from the beginning.

Harry rubs his red nose, letting out a puff of air to keep from full on crying. He even blinks a few times staring up at the ceiling to keep them from falling before he looks around the room, anywhere but at Louis who was staring intently at Harry all the while.

“I want to go home,” he simply says.

Louis’ heart immediately sinks, but he manages to swallow the lump in his throat and reluctantly nod. “O-Okay. You can… You can go ahead and leave. I’ll call Liam and tell him to pick me up,” he murmurs. “Harry I’m really sorry--.”

“Just, stop Louis. Please?” He whispers before sliding out of the booth and standing up. “I’ll drop you off back at your house.”

Louis was the biggest asshole in the world. After all that shit. After getting Harry riled up for no fucking reason, the man was still offering to drop him off. Offering to not leave Louis’ sorry ass at this dumbass Italian joint he will probably never come back to now.

Louis stands up and puts enough money on the table to pay for their drinks and follows Harry out of the restaurant. The man was standing outside hugging himself as he waits for Louis before they begin to walk in silence towards the Range Rover.

Once Louis’ inside of the car, he pulls his phone out and begins to scroll through his homescreen back and forth, trying to avoid blurting out anything else dumb to try to fix the situation (in reality, fuck it up even more).

Harry starts the car and they only speak to each other when he asks for the directions to Louis’ flat he shared with Liam and by the time they get there Louis feels even more shittier than before because throughout the entire ride Harry had this wild, anxious look on his face that was incredibly unsettling and Louis was the one who caused it. It was all on him.

Louis sighs as the car stops in front of the building. He goes to open the door, glancing back over at Harry who was chewing his bottom lip harshly and staring straight ahead almost in a daze. “I--.”

“Goodnight, Louis,” he simply says before the younger of the two could even utter another apology. Louis shrinks back a little and slowly nods, sliding out of the car.

“Goodnight, Harry,” he whispers back, before closing the door and walking up the stairs quietly into his own home a minute later, not sparing another glance. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, because as soon as Louis stepped out, Harry had gone into the cold, dismal night.

❤

“I’d like to think I’m a good person. You think I’m a good person, Louis?” Niall asks one evening in the Uni library two days after the ‘incident’. Harry hadn’t shown up any of those days at all and if Louis didn’t feel like a jerk before, he felt like a total one now. The library was a place Harry went to practically every day for enjoyment and Louis ruined that for him. He never was good at holding his tongue even with people he actually liked. His filter was nonexistent.

The nineteen year old’s eyebrows knit together at Niall’s question. He was one of Liam’s mates that happened to be one of Louis’ mates now and he had been telling some story about a girl he stood up and was trying to justify the reasons why or whatever. Basically nothing Louis truly cared about. “Uh, yeah I guess. Yeah, you’re cool mate, you just didn’t like her,” he murmurs, not entirely sure what he was even saying anymore but hopefully it was enough to get Niall to stop talking to him so he could focus on cleaning and worrying about Harry Styles.

Niall nods as he stuffs the last chip in his mouth before tossing the bag away in the large rolling trash can and grabbing his messenger bag. “Thanks for letting me study here a little after hours mate. That physics exam is going to be the death of me tomorrow,” he groans as he pulls his bag over his shoulder.

Louis rolls his eyes as he continues to sweep bits of dust and paper and hair (gross) off of the wooden floors. “Still don’t understand why the hell you’re taking that class. That’s not a mandatory science.”

“I was told it was an easy science and I can still get my credit! Cut me some slack. I’m just a boy trying to make my way through uni,” Niall defends before going towards the door. “See you tomorrow twat rag.”

“The fuck is a twat rag?” Louis calls with a snort before going back to sweeping after he hears the door slam. Honestly he needed new friends. He could hang out with that Zayn fellow who’s always in the comic books section. He was very reserved and quiet though and Louis would probably feel bad interrupting the guy from his reading and drawing so he sort of refrained from it.

Louis begins to sweep the mess into the dustpan, whistling to himself until he hears the doors opening behind him. “Sorry we’re closed!” Louis calls over his shoulder before fully turning around when he didn’t hear a reply, more so a sniffle. The broom instantly falls from his hand when he sees the “trespassing” culprit and his mouth instantly drops.

There stands a red nose and red eyed Harry, hugging himself tightly as he sniffs and stares at Louis, shaking.

“God, Harry. I’m so sorry. Please just hear me out,” Louis immediately begins to stammer again before he’s completely interrupted by the man rushing over and practically throwing himself at Louis, catching him completely off guard. He was on the verge of apologizing once more about the past events but now this was much more important… whatever it was.

“H-He forgot my birthday,” Harry sniffs, whimpering as his arms wrap around Louis’ neck snugly. “He didn’t call. He didn’t at l-least call to tell me that he wasn't going to make it. He just… He didn’t say anything.”

“Oh baby,” Louis couldn’t help but to sigh as he hugs Harry back, rubbing large circles into his shaking body.

“I just… He forgot me,” Harry hiccups into Louis’ hair, eyes squeezed shut as he clings to the smaller of the two. “I didn’t know who else to come to or talk to. All of my supposed friends are busy with their own lives and I just... please. I don’t want to be alone tonight. Please.” He’s full on sobbing now, staining Louis’ shirt, but it wasn’t enough to really faze him. He honestly wouldn’t care if the man popped a large snot bubble all over it… Okay, that was sort of gross. But still. He wouldn’t care.

“Hey, okay. Okay, wanna go back to my place? Yeah?” Louis begins to whisper into Harry’s ear. “We can do that. We can go back to mine and then we can, we can figure something out. We can do anything you want birthday boy,” he tries to lightly joke, immediately wincing afterwards. That was just awful.

“Let me just shut down everything.” He pats Harry’s back gently before he’s already going to turn the lights off besides the emergency ones and then locking up everything, turning off the computers altogether and such. He grabs the keys and takes Harry’s hand, guiding him towards the doors and leading him out before locking them as well once they were both outside.

“I walked. I walked here so…” Harry hiccups as he plays with the hem of his sweatshirt. Louis really takes in Harry’s appearance and he is honestly the most adorable thing but when is he not? His hair was in a bun with a knitted maroon headband along with jeans tucked in a pair of snow boots. He looked extra comfy on this cold February night. Though he could use another jacket since he had walked all the way here, but Louis wasn’t going to lecture him.

“We’ll take my car. I mean it’s no Range Rover but it has four wheels and heating so I’m pretty set,” he jokes which causes Harry to smile just a little and that was enough.

❤

By the time they get to Louis’ flat (Liam was over at his friend Sophia’s house for the night), Harry was in tears again, bawling all into his hand dramatically. But then again in Harry’s case, Louis didn’t see it as dramatic. This was actually the real Harry. Actually crying and whimpering and bawling like a little vulnerable woman in a black and white film of some sort.

Louis guides Harry upstairs and into his home, the older man having nothing but a strong grip on Louis the entire time. “He doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t c-care,” Harry whimpers as Louis closes the door behind him. “He would’ve called. He should have. Why didn’t he call?” Harry goes on, hugging himself again as he sits on the couch before standing right back up, not having the willpower to keep himself in one spot.

Louis pulls his coat off and tosses it carelessly across the living room, walking over to Harry and taking his hand. “I don’t know why he didn’t call Harry, but just try to relax okay? Relax for me, baby. Just breathe,” he softly urges, holding both of the man's hands now as he sucks in a large breath of air and slowly lets it out, eyes wide and urging for Harry to copy.

Harry jerkily nods and sucks in his own breaths of air and slowly lets them out, sighing heavily. He takes another breath in with Louis who was doing just the same, holding Harry’s hands and trying his hardest to comfort him. They continue to slowly do this for a while until Harry’s breaths were slowing down to a normal pace and he was staring at Louis who hadn’t noticed until he was on his second round of breathing all on his own.

He looks up to see Harry staring at him, lips slightly parted as his eyes were low, almost in a daze before he leans over to kiss Louis softly. A soft whimper leaves Harry’s lips before he immediately pulls away before Louis could even react.

“God, Louis. I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have done that. I… Oh, God I--.”

Louis touches his lips momentarily, a spark sort of igniting inside of him before he pulls Harry into another, more confident kiss, cupping the older man’s face gently as their lips mold into each other’s. Harry whimpers again, but not pulling away this time, instead just sinking further into Louis.

They pull away momentarily, simply gazing into each other’s eyes before Harry’s eyes water again. “N-No one’s kissed me like that in months,” he chokes out, on the verge of bawling once more.

“Baby…” Louis trails off, caressing Harry’s cheek as his thumb runs across shaking man’s bottom lip. Harry squeezes his eyes shut and whimpers before gripping Louis’ wrist to pull his thumb away, smashing their lips together again.

The kiss becomes desperate and needy. Harry kissing Louis as if his life depended on it and Louis enjoying every second of it. All he wanted was for Harry to feel safe and wanted. He slips his tongue into the man’s mouth when he whimpers again, fingers tangling into Louis’ hair as their bodies press closely together in the middle of Louis’ shabby living room. Louis’ hands trail up and down Harry’s body, holding him extremely close as they continue to kiss until Harry pulls away with a soft moan.

“Take care of me. Please. N-Need someone. Need you,” he whispers as he kisses down Louis’ neck, the younger’s head lolling back as Harry nips and sucks and bites on his sun-kissed skin.

Louis’ eyes slip shut momentarily, just feeling nothing but Harry’s soft petal lips kissing every inch of his neck and collarbones, cock twitching in his jeans just from the simplest touch. His eyes flicker open as he feels himself getting harder, and he swallows the large lump that had formed in his throat. “Let’s go to my room okay, darling. Hm?” He whispers to Harry whose hands were gripping onto Louis’ shirt for dear life. “I’ll take care of you. Promise.”

Harry whines when he has to detach himself from Louis but allows the younger boy to tug him down the dark hallway towards the very last door that lead to his bedroom. He closes it behind them once they’re inside and their lips are connected once again, Harry slowly being pushed onto the bed, clothes shedding every second until they're both naked (Louis not missing the pastel pink panties Harry had taken off) and Louis was trying his hardest not to ogle at Harry’s beautiful, soft body.

“Please, Louis. Need you, I--.”

“Shh, baby,” Louis whispers, reaching up to wipe the stray tear from Harry’s face as he grabs his lube and condoms from the side drawer, disregarding the condoms for now and making his fingers slick, enough to open the man up.

By the time Louis was ready to slip a single finger inside, Harry was already stroking his cock slowly, whimpering as he watches the younger boy above him. Louis bats the man’s hand away before tracing the rim of his soft pink hole with a fingertip before slowly sliding a thick finger in.

“Oh, G-God,” Harry chokes out. He had been so used to his own fingers inside of him that he almost forgot how just amazing it was to have someone else’s. It was so different. It was amazing. “L-Louis,” he breathes, eyes squeezing shut as the younger boy was already adding a second.

Louis groans at the feeling of Harry’s tight hole clenching around his fingers desperately. He wondered how long it had been since the man had someone else’s fingers inside of him like this, opening him up, stretching him out enough just for a cock to fuck him open. “You’re so fucking gorgeous. You know that?” Louis murmurs as he curls his fingers deep inside of the man, a squeak leaving his lips. “So pretty. You deserve the world. You deserve this so much. Do you feel good, baby? How do you feel?”

Harry was biting down on the pillow he had clumsily grabbed while Louis had been adding the first finger inside him, jerkily nodding as he whimpers behind the fabric. “So good. So good. Missed this so much. Love your fingers inside of me,” he breathes, loose strands of hair from his bun falling over his flushed face.

By the time Louis adds the third finger inside of him, Harry was crying out from the way the younger boy’s fingers brushed against his prostate, petting it and poking it from time to time in the mix of his stretching and scissoring.

“Fuck me, please,” Harry begs, tears welling up in his eyes again. “Need you, Louis. Please. Want your cock.”

And that was enough for Louis. He slowly eases his fingers out of the man’s slightly looser hole, ripping open the nearest condom from its wrapper and rolling it onto his cock that was rock hard and curved against his belly. He pours more lube onto his hand, slicking up the condom before carelessly tossing the bottle towards the other end of the bed. This was something he’d been wanting for days, being this close to Harry and now… this was happening. Harry so needy and begging and wanting and pleading for attention and affection and Louis could give it all.

He wanted to give it all away to this man right beneath him.

He grits his teeth as he slowly begins to slide inside of Harry, both mouths dropping open at the feeling.

“Fuck,” Louis breathes beneath Harry’s loud moan, feeling the man clench around his cock, while his blunt fingernails dug into Louis’ shoulders.

“Oh my God, yes. So big, so--fuck! Moremoremore,” Harry pleads as his legs wrap around Louis’ waist, eyes squeezed shut as he adjusts to the feeling of being stretched completely.

As soon as Louis was balls deep, he pulls back out and slams back in Harry seconds later, the two moaning in unison before the younger begins to thrust in slow, rhythmic rolls.

Harry’s mouth stays completely open as loud whimpers and high pitched moans and a string of ‘yes’s and ‘right there’s leaving his lips. Louis grits his teeth as he keeps his thrusts slow but deep, making sure to fuck back into Harry harder than the last thrust.

In the midst of Harry’s moans, Louis leans down to capture his lips into another kiss, Harry’s fingers trailing into Louis’ hair, tugging desperately. With each thrust, bits of precome begin to pearl at the head of his cock, slowly rolling down the sides as his hands were nowhere near his cock to relieve him from the pressure. He was far more into Louis’ thick cock fucking him open in such a good way.

Louis’ hands trail down Harry’s soft hips, gripping the skin tightly as he simply rests his mouth against Harry’s. They weren’t even kissing anymore, simply breathing each other in and taking in their own personal auras they were both releasing and giving to the other.

The bedroom was getting stuffy and there was a soft sheen of sweat on both of their bodies, but it didn’t stop Louis from flipping them over until he was practically spooning the older man, tangling their legs together as he continues to fuck up into him, arms wrapped tightly, protectively around the boy as if his mind were thinking mineminemine and honestly, that was kind of how he felt in that moment.

Louis places a few kisses on Harry’s shoulder as he continues to roll his hips deep inside of him, feeling Harry trying to push his bum back to meet his thrusts. Although he couldn’t see Harry anymore, he knew his mouth was still gaping open with nothing but moans and breathy ‘Louis’s leaving it and his eyes are squeezed shut, knitted eyebrows above them as their legs are tangled together, twisting up like pretzel limbs.

He doesn’t realize his hand is top of Harry’s until the man juts up, whimpering on about how he was about to come very soon and he feels the man squeeze his hand desperately. Louis returns the squeeze, locking their hands together as he picks up the pace, a string of ‘fucks’ leaving Louis’ thin pink lips before he’s biting down on Harry’s shoulder, fucking up into the man a bit faster so they could both reach their peaks together.

It takes five more quick and hard thrusts, until Harry was thrashing his face into the pillow beside him and screaming into it, releasing all over his milky white stomach. “Yesyesyes, God, LouisLouis,” he chokes out, continuing to rut his hips down to meet Louis’ thrusts riding out his orgasm.

Louis’ turned on just from the sight of Harry coming untouched all over himself and the scratchy and weak moans leaving his lips as he continues to fuck himself down. It doesn’t take long for Louis to toss his head back and come inside of the condom in between them, a loud groan escaping his lips as he feels his stomach clench at the sensation.

The two lie there quietly in the same position, their breathing completely heavy and uneven as they try to come down from their sexual high. Louis completely feeling on cloud 9. Minutes later he finally gets the strength to slowly pull out of the man, hearing Harry whine softly at the sensitivity or maybe at the empty feeling.

Lous ties and knots the condom before tossing it in the bin beside the bed, soon returning to Harry and holding him close into his chest. He feels the older man push further back into him, tangling their legs back together again before Louis perks up just once more. “Need to clean you up,” he whispers.

“No, stay with me. Please,” he whispers immediately, face nestled into the pillow beside him.

Louis slowly nods and sinks back into the bed, placing a gentle kiss to Harry’s shoulder, rubbing his hip gently. He feels himself slowly getting drowsy and drifting off to sleep until he hears a few sniffles in front of him. Louis begins to rub Harry’s tummy now, kissing his skin softly before cupping Harry’s head and slowly turning his head around so they were face to face but Harry’s body still turned.

Harry’s eyes are puffy again and his nose is red. Louis slowly shakes his head, wiping another tear from his face before pressing his forehead against his and kissing his puffy pink lips softly. They kiss for a few long moments before Louis lets out a brief sigh, resting his head against Harry’s once more.

“I’m here, love,” he simply whispers.

❤

The next morning Louis wakes up with tufts of hair in his face and his arms cramping from holding onto Harry all night. Flashes of last night literally smack him in the face and he bites his lip realizing exactly what he had done. What they had done. It was so wrong, but it felt so right. Such a cliche, but it honestly did. He felt like he had helped Harry feel whole again and if only just for that one night, he felt like Harry was his.

Now if Harry woke up this morning completely regretting it all, then Louis couldn’t be mad at him at all. He really couldn’t because they were both in the…in the wrong.

But as of now Harry was still soundly asleep and he still belonged to Louis’ bed. And as long as Harry was asleep, the better chance Louis had of fulfilling his plan.

He slips out of bed carefully and goes to grab some clothes to throw on and begins to head down towards the bakery beneath their flat that was above a bit of corner shops. He tries not to take too long considering the fact that there was a naked married man in his bed and Liam could walk in at any moment or could actually already be there.

Once Louis buys what he needs, he drops a few other things in the bag before heading back upstairs to his flat, letting out a sigh of relief when there was still the comfortable silence echoing through the home. Things were still good.

Harry wakes up to the sound a loud ‘shit’ and thud against the bedroom door. His eyes crack open before he blinks rapidly from the broad natural light coming through the windows before sitting up and stretching his arms as the bedroom door opens.

Louis stumbles in with a strawberry cupcake with cream cheese frosting and a single lit candle right in the middle. “Happy belated birthday?” Louis murmurs with a slight wince, hoping this wasn’t too much. Too personal. He wasn’t sure why this would be too personal, but Louis always managed to fuck things up somehow.

Luckily this wasn’t the case, because as soon as Harry sees the cupcake and candle, his face lights up tremendously before he covers his mouth with his hands. “Oh my goodness,” he sighs behind his hands. He slowly drops them seconds later before resting them in his lap. “This is for me?” He asks in disbelief causing Louis to give the man a goofy look before nodding.

“Don’t see any other person whose birthday was yesterday,” Louis smoothly says as he walks over and sits down across from the man on the bed. “Um, I got you this too.” He weakly smiles and hands Harry the cupcake before reaching into the bag he’d brought with him and pulling out a bookmark ribbon with a number of charms on them. Heart charms, cupcakes, arrows, birds and such.

Harry coos after blowing out the candle and setting the cupcake beside him on the nightstand before taking the pretty bookmark. “Oh my, Louis thank you so much,” he breathes, studying the different charms before looking past the present and towards the younger man. “I love it.”

He bites his lip momentarily before leaning over to kiss Louis gently, Louis immediately kissing back, the same spark from last night igniting inside of him as if he were being recharged.

He feels Harry’s hand cup the side of his face as they deepen the kiss and it doesn’t stop him from placing his own hands on the man’s soft, bare hips, pulling Harry closer. They kiss for a few long moments before Harry slightly pulls away, staring deeply into Louis’ eyes.

They’re both thinking the same thing. Louis knows it. They both do. But he doesn’t take the time to think too heavily into it or ask any questions as to why it happened. It just happened. It was passionate. It was slow. It was sensual.

It’s all quiet until Louis breaks the silence after breaking into a soft smile. “Last night was--.”

“Amazing,” Harry immediately cuts in. “It… It was amazing,” he breathes, running his hand slowly down Louis’ chest and playing with the hem of his shirt. He bites his lip and looks back up at Louis anxiously. “You made me feel important again. Worth something. I… You’re amazing.”

Louis feels himself blushing as Harry praises him and such but he shakes his head immediately after cupping the older man’s cheek. “I care about you,” he murmurs. “I just, fuck I care about you a lot Harry. You deserve to feel that way. Everyday.”

He can see Harry’s eyes watering but he has a smile on his face, so Louis doesn’t feel too bad for bringing on the waterworks from the man. Harry wrinkles his nose and bats at Louis’ face before pushing him away. “Why are you doing this to me?!” He squeaks. “Making me feel like… like a blushy teengaer with a stupid crush. God, isn’t that your job?”

Louis gasps and clutches his chest as if he’d been struck. “Ooooh, going for the age jokes, are we?” He asks with a raised eyebrow before diving onto Harry and attacking his lips and neck, practically munching all over his face as Harry shouts and screeches amidst his laughter.

“Oh my God Louis stop! I’m ticklish! Stop it!” Harry laughs, practically losing his breath as he smacks the younger boy’s back repeatedly. His face is a beautiful shade of red and he is fighting a losing battle as his laughter continues to weaken him and Louis continues to munch on his neck and tickle his sides.

The two continue to wrestle around on the bed, laughing and pinching each other before Louis’ bedroom door opens and they both snap up to see a confused Liam Payne. Well, he’s confused for two seconds until he realizes what’s going on and his face twists into discomfort and anger. A large eyed Harry covers his naked body up with Louis’ sheets as Louis sits up a bit straighter, smoothing his hair out.

“Louis. Kitchen. Now,” Liam growls before slamming the door behind him.

“Louis,” Harry whines, already looking like he was on the verge of freaking out. His eyes are practically bugging out of his head and he’s clutching on to the bed sheet for dear life.

“Relax, relax. I’ll be right back baby,” Louis murmurs before pecking Harry’s lips and sliding off of the bed.

Louis slips out of his bedroom, slowly walking down the hallway towards the kitchen like a little kid who knows he’s in big trouble. Once he turns the corner he sees Liam “angrily” slamming pots and pans around trying to get everything together to make breakfast more than likely. When his eyes meet Louis’ he slams the pan extra hard causing Louis to snort.

“Calm down, man.”

“Calm down?! You want me to calm down?” Liam hisses. “You’re such a fucking idiot Louis! What the hell is he doing naked in your bed? I told you this was all a bad idea and what do you do, gallivant your way into this married man’s pants? You’re rich I tell you. You’re so fucking rich.”

Louis sighs heavily and runs his fingers through his hair. “It’s not like that Liam. I didn’t just seduce him into my bed if that’s what you think. I didn’t get him drunk and take him back home. I didn’t flirt my way into his pants. Hell I didn’t even think last night would ever happen!”

Liam pinches the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. “But it did. You had sex with a man almost twice your age. A married man at that. What the hell were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all? Just, what the hell Louis!”

“It’s not like I fucking seduced him Liam!” Louis repeats himself a bit louder now since Liam was practically shouting at him. “He needed me and I was there for him! I was there when none of the other shitty people in his life were! So fuck off!”

“But. He’s. Married. Why couldn’t you just talk to him like a normal fucking person would! You slept with him Louis. How was that helping him in any way? You fucked him because you saw an opportunity and you took it! You didn’t help him,” Liam continues before he looks over Louis' shoulder and rolls his eyes.

Louis turns around to see Harry in his clothes holding the gift bag and cupcake crumbs on his shirt. God, he was so cute. His hair was in a messy bun and his sweatshirt was hanging off of his shoulder loosely. “Um, I’m just… I’m leaving,” Harry stammers, face red but not as if he’d been crying, more so as if he’d been blushing.

Louis shakes his head. “Let me take you home,” he sighs, already heading over to grab his keys.

“No, no. I’m fine. I’m actually going to um, stop at the flower shop to get more seeds for my garden,” he murmurs as he slips his shoes on awkwardly and walks over towards the door. “It was um, nice meeting you,” he says to Liam with a weak smile that goes unreturned. Liam shakes his head and goes back to making his breakfast.

Louis bites his lip and reluctantly nods. “O-Okay. I guess I’ll see you--.”

“Goodbye, Louis,” Harry simply says before slipping out of the front door and closing it behind him.

Louis sighs heavily and runs his fingers through his hair, shaking his head incredulously. “What the fuck,” he mutters under his breath.

The rest of the morning consists of heated glares and shoving in the kitchen when one person wanted to get something and the other was in the way. They eat breakfast at the table, completely ignoring each other and Louis luckily finishes first so he could make the effort to slam his dishes into the sink that he was not going to wash and then slams his door to his bedroom right behind him to show that Liam was officially dead to him now.

Louis plops down on the bed with a groan, staring up at the ceiling. Before he could even sit and contemplate ways to make Liam’s murder look like an accident, a piece of paper on his nightstand catches his attention. He reaches over to grab it, his heart immediately leaping in his chest when he reads the words.

_Thank you for being there for me  
Please don’t let this be over... x_

And at the very bottom there was a phone number with a single heart beside it.

❤

Not even five minutes after Liam leaves to go to class, Louis grabs his phone and saves Harry’s number with maybe a kissing face emoji and sparkly heart because he was a stupid practically in love nineteen year old who was chasing something he technically could never have. He ignores that though, really, because there was a Harry waiting for Louis to text him and this was happening now. Louis needed to live up to his motto. Living in the moment.

He lets out a quick breath before plopping down on the couch of his small living room, trying to come up with something smooth and nice to type out. “Hey sweetcheeks,” he says out loud before grimacing. Too much. “Hey there, and maybe like winky face?” He murmurs, typing it out. “Fuck no, that just looks creepy.” He sighs and throws his short legs over the armrest of the couch before finally just typing a, ‘hey cutie’ and a sweet blushy emoji thing. He doesn’t even know how to describe these things. He just knows he has a slight obsession with them.

He immediately shoots up when he realizes he didn’t say who it was. Harry probably wouldn’t even reply if he didn’t know the number. He seems like the type. Well, actually he seems like the type who would start a conversation with anyone, maybe about like fruits or something but still! Louis could be the exception. Louis could be the one person he ignores. Louis could be the--

He feels the vibration.

He literally breaks his neck to look down and see the name and his heart practically soars when he sees it's Harry. He eagerly opens the text and can’t help the splitting grin that spreads across his face seconds later.

‘ _Hey you_!’ He sends with the same blushing emoji back and a few hearts and fuck, okay he sent hearts.

Louis bites his lip and begins to type what had been on his mind ever since the man left.

_I’m so sorry about Liam. We’re pretty pissed at each other now, but he swore not to say anything. I promise. I made him swear._

He begins to pace around the living room now, too anxious to sit still. He scrambles for his phone when he gets the text back.

_It’s okay... I was a bit scared but I just really want to see you again. I miss you :( xxx_

Louis feels his heart practically clench in his chest and he’s practically frozen in his spot before he has to mentally slap himself to get his shit together and type this pretty man back.

I _miss you too. God, you have no idea. I just... You don’t understand how much I just already care about you. So much. Like, its fucking insane and I feel crazy. I’ve never felt so attracted to someone so fast and I just want to know more and more about you._

And maybe Louis’ just getting a bit of mouth diarrhea at this point but he hopes Harry understands where he’s coming from. The fast attraction just wasn’t normal for him but he was so hooked, he couldn’t just let up so easily and think just about how wrong this all was. It felt so easy. It felt a bit like magic.

God, look at him. If he and Liam were on speaking terms Liam would be teasing him so badly.

He bites his lip sharply when he gets Harry’s message, wasting no time to open it.

_God me too. It’s scary, almost. But I don’t want to stop talking to you Louis. I miss you so much and I don’t want to be in this stupidly oversized house by myself. I’m so tired of being alone and you’re so kind and sweet and silly and just. I like you a lot. So much._

Because of the glorious invention of iMessage, he could see Harry typing something else but come to a quick stop seconds later as if he’d changed his mind. Louis took the quick opportunity to quickly type something then.

_You don’t have to be all alone. I’m here wanna see you. lets meet anywhere._

_Where?_

_anywhere! a fucking cemetery for all i care just anywhere. i need to see you_

_oh my gosh! okay okay um, the park? trident lake?_

_perfect, see you soon_

And Louis’ out the door in under three minutes.

 

❤

Trident Lake Park was posh. It was amazing like one of those parks that you could get lost in at night easily. There were multiple playgrounds and football fields and a mini golf area and of course a few nature trails and running tracks including the large one that whipped around Trident Lake itself along with its beautifully calm waterfall. Across the the waterfall was a huge hill where many people would splay their blankets out to have a few picnics and or just relax.

Since it was extremely cold around this time of the year, the lake was near frozen a bit of icy patches and the waterfall was very cold and fierce. But the hill was a snowy summit it seemed, a few families sliding down on their boards and sleds and others watching fondly on a few benches along the top of the hill, which is exactly where Louis finds a calmly sitting Harry Styles once he makes it to the park.

Louis can’t help it. He really can’t. He tiptoes his way over towards the man who’s fiddling with his phone and biting his lip anxiously before leaning over his shoulder to press a small kiss to his cheek. Harry yelps immediately and hops up, clutching his chest before glaring cutely when he makes eye contact with a laughing Louis.

“You jerk! That’s not funny,” Harry huffs as he sits back down, planting his snowboot covered feet into the snow again, pouting.

Louis croons and sits down on the bench beside the boy, seeing his breath appear into the air in front of him. “Aw, come on baby. I just wanted to surprise you,” Louis murmurs as he wraps an arm around Harry and smiles fondly at him. He looks so cute right now and Louis honestly wanted to just munch on his face. His nose is slightly red from the cold and he has on a red knit cap with a fluffy pom pom on the top and he has on a pair of gloves with bananas on them.

He raises an eyebrow but before he can even say anything, Harry lifts up a finger and gives him a look. “Don’t,” he simply says which Louis can only reply with his hands raising up in surrender.

“I won’t,” he simply says back before leaning over to kiss his neck, causing the older man to giggle at the touch but not showing any sign of wanting to pull away. “You smell so good,” Louis murmurs into his soft neck, lightly nipping at the skin which causes Harry to shiver.

“Thank you. I took a bath when I got home and used this amazing bubble bath and then this cute sugar scrub that was called homemade cookies and it made my legs feel sooo smooth,” he rambles on, Louis watching Harry the entire time with a warm smile. “And then I got this lotion that I always wear that has a mixture of green apples and strawberries and it’s heaven.”

He goes on about the rest of his day, talking eagerly about the most everyday normal things he’d done since he got home from his garden to the mixed fruit bowl he made after trying to make a cute face his mum had taught him when he was younger and then a bit of winter cleaning around the house and a movie before Louis called and it was all so endearing and a bit heart wrenching.

The fact that Harry was just eager to talk about the simplest of things. He had no one at home to talk to since his husband was never there to hear his stories, not even making the effort to at least call or Skype. It pissed Louis off greatly. How could this asshole leave behind such a beautiful person? Put his work before someone as sweet and wonderful as Harry? It was awful to even imagine him being at home all by himself all the time because he seemed like the type who wasn’t open to just reach out to people himself. He seemed more so like an introvert and that just pissed Louis off even more about Harry’s husband because he was sure the man knew that and yet here he is, still leaving Harry alone.

“Anyway, it wasn’t all that exciting if I’m being honest,” Harry concludes with a slight frown. “I just hate being alone so much. I wouldn’t mind staying at home if I just had babies to watch over.” He looks down and begins to play with the hem of his sweater beneath his jacket.

“Does he not want kids?” Louis softly asks, not sure if talking about Harry’s… husband was really comforting for either of them, but he just wanted to know what was holding him back from starting a family if that was what he really wanted.

Harry laughs humorlessly, shaking his head. “Louis. The last time I had sex before you was almost ten months. Do you really think I’m going to have kids anytime soon? Or at all?” He asks, and it only makes Louis frown even more because he could honestly tell Harry wasn’t trying to be “mean” or “sassy” or whatever the hell, but the obvious hurt was in his eyes and it made Louis want to just grab him and kiss him right then and there but he takes his hands instead, rubbing them gently through the gloves.

He looks up from Harry’s gloves and sees the man’s eyes water again and Louis immediately shakes his head. “Sh, no no. Don’t cry sweetheart. Please,” he murmurs, cupping Harry’s face now.

Harry whimpers and shakes his head this time. “It’s so hard not to! I just- I just want to be appreciated again,” he whimpers, voice shaking as his tears begin to roll down his red cheeks. “I want to be happy! I want to feel loved again. He forgot my birthday Louis and he still hasn’t called and he didn’t reply to my texts. I’m so lonely!” He sobs and buries his face into Louis’ chest when the younger of the two pulls him in for a strong hug.

“Shhh, please. Don’t cry. You’re so lovely. You’re so beautiful. You deserve everything you know that?” He whispers into Harry’s ear, gently kissing it as he rubs circles into his shaking back. “You deserve everything and then some. You’re so perfect.”

 

❤

Over the next few weeks Louis really manages to weasel his way into Harry’s life, learning more and more about him each day and the older man receiving the same from Louis. Their time spent together went from meeting up in random places to Louis coming over to Harry’s house practically everyday after work, mostly talking and cuddling, helping around with his winter plants, watching a few movies, kissing, watching Harry do pretty things like paint his nails and braid his hair, kissing, actually using Harry’s stove for once and cooking a few meals, and did he mention kissing? They definitely did plenty of that.

But Louis most definitely could not forget to mention the sex. After the first time the two had sex (the sensual slow kind), there was truly no turning back. Louis had learned pretty quickly that Harry was a true minx. It was indescribable how much the man enjoyed sex, but it was also quite reasonable. He hadn't had sex in months and with Louis being his age, he had the sex drive of a mating rabbit. But even at some points Louis had to pull away to really get himself together and catch up with Harry to get through round three of the same day.

It was amazing though. Just being able to provide for Harry not only physically but in an emotional, intimate way.

It only made him notice just about every little detail Harry consisted of from the way he always curls his toes when he's about to come to the innocent way he likes to sing Beyoncé songs while shaving his legs in the bath and the way he only likes to wear knee high socks at home when he's just in panties and an oversized sweater and the way he likes to dots his i's with hearts only when he writes sweet notes to Louis that he drops off before heading to teach his sewing and writing classes that day.

Just cute little things like that Louis picked up on and things that made Harry, Harry. It all made Louis fall more in love with the man so quickly. His innocence and his fiendish sexy ways when they had sex and their silly and cute moments. Louis was just there for him whenever Harry wanted him to be or just because he wanted to show up because he just couldn't get enough of the man.

Now two months into their cute relationship (could he call it that? He was calling it that) after a cute and innocent cuddly night at Harry's watching a couple of movies, they were in the library together. Harry came in after his classes and stayed to read a few books in his usual spot while he waited for Louis and they may have exchanged a few glances, Harry blushing in the process and Louis blowing a few kisses here and there until the last person leaves the building allowing Louis to lock up.

He walks over towards Harry with a fond smile, the man looking up and giggling. "Every time you look at me I get these butterflies in my stomach," he whispers as he closes his book and if those words didn't make Louis' heart clench...

Louis sits down in front of the man with a warm smile, kicking his feet up on the table. "I could definitely say the same for you baby," he murmurs with a little wink though he honestly felt so fuzzy inside. He hadn't exchanged any I love you's being a bit too scared for that considering the fact that Harry was indeed still married and just maybe not in love with him like Louis was, but he tried not to think too much about that.

"You're so good to me," Harry trails off as he plays with his sweater sleeve. "Like... I've never felt this special until I met you." He bats his pretty eyelashes and smiles shyly and Louis just couldn't resist. He leans over to cup Harry's face, kissing him deeply. The man returns the kiss instantly, whimpering under the intense feeling.

The two continue to kiss until Louis just couldn't stand it anymore and he stands up abruptly, moving swiftly around the table. "Wanna fuck you. Right now," he mutters already picking Harry up (don't ask, for some reason whenever he was aroused he just gained some unexplainable Hulk strength) and sitting him on the table.

Harry moans at being manhandled and immediately kisses Louis again desperately, teeth clashing and heated breaths. “Then fuck me," he breathes against Louis' mouth before kissing him again, clumsily reaching for his shirt and tugging it, urging Louis to pull it off.

Louis groans against Harry’s mouth, cock already extremely hard within seconds like the hormonal boy he was. He allows Harry to tug his shirt off quickly, the older man already attaching his lips to Louis' neck, kissing up the sun kissed skin desperately. Louis’ hands roam down Harry’s body momentarily before he’s tugging his tank top off and leaning over to lightly flick his tongue across Harry’s extremely sensitive nipples. He hears Harry gasp above him, a whimper leaving his lips seconds later later as he begins to suck on the slightly raised skin.

“L-Louis,” Harry whines again, his fingers finding their way into Louis’ hair, tugging desperately. “Fuck, m’so wet.”

And that nearly sends Louis flying to the stars and the moon. The past few times they’ve had sex, Louis was introduced to a kink Harry had been hiding for a while even from… his husband. He was a sucker for feminization. Just calling Harry’s hole a pussy would have Harry’s knees buckling and he’d be weak in seconds. Louis being the adventurous and whipped type he was, completely obliged and he found himself getting more and more turned on the more they used it.

“Are you baby? You’re wet for me?” Louis breathes against Harry’s skin, trailing his fingers down towards Harry’s practically booty shorts, unbuttoning them and tugging them down until he was just in a pretty red thong with a bow above his crotch.

“Mhmm,” Harry simply whimpers back as his hands grip at the table behind him.

Louis was so lucky. So fucking lucky. He can’t help but to just stare at Harry’s beautiful body. Every little fleck and detail from the way his hips were so soft to his munchable thighs to the wet patch in his panties.

He begins to rub Harry’s cock through his panties, hearing the older man moan outright, tossing his head back. “Like it when I rub your clit princess? Does it feel good?” Louis could feel his own cock, solid and rock hard in his tight boxers and he honestly needed them off, but all he could think about was getting his mouth on Harry now.

“Yes, oh feels so good. So so good daddy,” Harry blurts out, eyes immediately snapping open.

Louis’ eyebrows slightly raises and a small smirk begins to form on his lips.

“I--,” Harry begins before it’s interrupted by Louis tugging Harry’s panties down slowly with his teeth, tossing them over his shoulder.

“Want daddy to taste your pretty pussy?” He goes along, feeling Harry’s once tense body slowly relax seconds later. Good.

“Yes, please daddy. Please, want you to eat me out. You do it so good. Please daddy,” Harry babbles on, his cock spurting out bits of precome onto his tummy all the while.

Louis spreads Harry’s legs a bit more exposing his pretty, pink hole. He can actually feel his mouth watering at the sight. Before he even takes the time to lean over and practically devour him, he places the man's legs on his shoulders, kneeling down just a bit so he can have full control. His hands hold down onto Harry’s smooth thighs before finally leaning over and licking a slow, thick stripe up Harry’s hole.

Harry instantly lets out a loud, shriek of a moan, legs locking around Louis’ head as he begins to lick at steady pace. “Oh, daddy! Please, more. Want your tongue in my pussy. Please, please,” Harry shamelessly begs as Louis continues to flick his tongue over the slightly wrinkled skin, nibbling at the sensitive rim ever so often before actually pushing his tongue inside.

Harry’s hands that were holding him up before go slack and the man nearly slides and falls back onto the table. His moans were so loud in the empty library, echoing through each aisle of books and every room. “Oh, God yes! Just, please please!” He whines, his moans getting a bit more high pitched as Louis continues to curl his tongue deep inside of him, making a few obnoxious slurping sounds here and there because come on. This was Louis after all. His beard even makes a few scratchy red marks into Harry’s thighs.

One of Harry’s hands finds its way tangling into Louis’ hair, as he begins to desperately attempt to grind his ass down to meet Louis’ face. Louis doesn’t mind though, just taking in all of Harry, as much as he can. He feels his face getting a bit wet just from the overwhelming amount of saliva he left just messily eating Harry out. He continues to curl his tongue into the man’s silky walls, his own cock throbbing so painfully in his boxers and he knows that if he doesn’t get his cock inside of Harry in the next ten minutes there was definitely going to be a problem.

Louis looks up to see Harry’s face completely flustered and red, tears in the corners of his eyes as his fingers continue to grip and tug onto Louis’ hair for dear life. Louis groans against Harry’s hole, lapping at it a bit more, not even minding the spit trailing down his chin before pulling away slightly and sucking on his own finger, coating it with even more spit before pushing it slowly inside alongside his tongue again.

Harry’s mouth drops open completely and he’s lying back on the table now, arms unable to support himself anymore as he writhes on the wood. “Fuck, fuck daddy!” He practically squeals as Louis’ fingers curl into him beside his tongue, stretching Harry out the best he could just from those two things. He does this for a few minutes, relishing in Harry’s constant moans and ‘daddy’s leaving his lips before finally pulling away because he just couldn’t take it anymore. He needs his cock inside of him now.

Harry sits up weakly, whimpering and looking so young and desperate, it honestly makes Louis so dizzy. But in a good way. Harry was older but so very submissive and it was all so crazy and amazing and Louis just couldn’t get enough. He watches as Harry rubs his now wet hole weakly, slightly hiccuping as he watches Louis tug his own boxers off and reach for his wallet for that stupid travel lube packet Niall gave him last week. He was amazed about it coming in travel size and was just giving them out to everyone at the bar. Dumbass.

As he’s opening up his condom and slipping it on, he looks up to see Harry with his fingers in his mouth, staring at him with hooded eyes. “Fuck, you’re going to make me bust a nut right now,” Louis teases, causing Harry to drop his coated fingers and laugh, biting his lip as he continues to rub and tease his hole.

“I’d rather you not do that and actually come all over my face and tits instead,” he purrs and Louis is gone. Really. He groans loudly and practically rips open the packet of lube, some flying out the packet and onto the carpet from the impact, but he gets a decent amount on his fingers and in his hands.

It’s enough to finger Harry’s pretty little pussy open and have him begging for Louis to fuck him, and it’s enough left to fully cover his cock. “Want daddy to fuck your pussy, baby?” He murmurs as he rubs the tip of his cock against Harry’s hole, teasing just a little.

Harry nods quickly, his legs wrapped tightly around Louis’ waist. “Please, daddy, I’m so wet. Need you,” he begs, feeling more precome rolling onto his tummy.

And with that, Louis wastes no time easing his cock inside of Harry, watching him arch his back as a moan immediately erupts from his lips. He starts rocking his hips into the boy, gritting his teeth at the tight feeling. “You feel so good around daddy’s cock,” he groans as he begins to pick up the pace with his thrusts, making them harder as well.

Harry looks so beautiful beneath him, lips parted open and eyes squeezed shut as his hair bounces with each thrust inside of him. The rickety table begins to rock beneath them as he starts to fuck into Harry a bit harder now, the screws making squeaking noises in the process. “Touch your clit, baby. I know you want to,” Louis groans beneath Harry’s loud moans. Harry’s so distracted that his cock is almost an angry red from not touching it.

Harry clumsily reaches down to stroke it, rubbing the leaking head with his thumb. Louis times his tugs with his thrusts, angling his hips to hit Harry’s sweet spots inside of him again and again. When he starts to hit Harry’s prostate dead on, Harry lets out a shrill scream, almost. “Right there daddy! Please don’t stop. Fuck right there. Fucking my pussy wide open, just like that!” Harry babbles on again, the tears now actually rolling down his flushed face. He’s stroking his cock at almost lightning speed now, not even matching Louis’ thrusts anymore.

Louis continues to slam deep inside of Harry, grunts and raspy moans leaving his mouth, contrasting to Harry’s loud and desperate ones. He drops his head low and begins to kiss the boy, teeth clashing in the process but that’s not stopping them from the needy kissing. Harry’s hand stays attached to his cock while the other grips at Louis’ hair again. He whimpers into the boy’s mouth as he tries to snap his hips back down to meet Louis’ thrusts and it’s all so much and all so good.

“I’m so close daddy! Can I come? Please?” He begs against Louis’ mouth, and that only get’s Louis riled up even more. God, Harry was so submissive it hurt. But in the best way.

“Fuck, yes babe,” he manages to groan in between thrusts. “Go on.” And it doesn’t take long. Within a few more thrusts, Harry lets out a loud, shrill type of moan and he’s coming all over hand and stomach, head dropping back on the table a bit harshly, but he doesn’t whine or say anything about it so Louis doesn’t worry too much.

He continues to fuck deep inside of the boy, feeling himself practically chasing his orgasm. He’s so close and what’s even better is the fact that Harry is snapping his hips back down to help Louis even though he looks completely fucked out.

“Come on my tits daddy,” Harry breathily begs, and Louis is practically yanking his cock out, snatching the condom off within seconds.

He begins to tug at his cock quickly, stroking himself as Harry looks up, mouth open and waiting in case any of his come falls in. Within a matter of seconds, Louis tosses his head back and comes over Harry’s face aiming the rest on to his swollen nipples, the man below him moaning gratefully as he licks up whatever rolls towards his mouth, the rest over his face and chest.

Louis collapses on top of Harry once he’s finished, making the effort to kiss him once more, a bit less rough than before. Harry whimpers gently as he kisses Louis back, his legs finding their way to wrap around Louis’ body again.

Louis looks down at Harry with a small smile, grabbing his shirt that was on the table and carefully wiping his come off of the boy’s face. He had a sweatshirt he could wear out of the building so he was okay. Harry wrinkles his nose cutely at the wiping, but smiles softly back up at Louis his thumb rubbing tiny circles into the man’s stubbly jaw.

“I’m in love with you,” Louis softly whispers, shrugging just a bit because he couldn’t deny it. He couldn’t help it. He loved Harry. What was there not to love?

He could see Harry’s face turn a slight shade of pink before he leans up to kiss Louis again, holding him even closer.

“I love you,” he softly whispers back.

 

❤

“I got you something,” Louis says two weeks later as they’re sitting at Louis’ favorite Italian restaurant again. They decided they would have a do over for the first date Louis kinda screwed up talking about the man who shall not be named.

Harry looks up from his menu with a warm smile, raising an eyebrow. It was almost a replay of those months ago in the winter except instead of opaque sweater paws, Harry had mesh sweater paws. From a mesh sweater he was wearing with a pretty tank top underneath.

“Did you?” He asks with a little hum before taking a sip of his lemonade.

Louis smiles anxiously and nods before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a long jewelry box. He could see Harry’s eyes immediately widen at the sight and Louis almost wants to assure Harry that it isn’t some oversized, overly augmented engagement ring or something, though honestly he’d marry the man in a heartbeat if he just said the word.

He gives Harry a slight headshake to ease his nerves though and pushes the box over towards him, leaning back in his seat awkwardly. He watches as Harry opens the box, his eyes widening even more before he practically coos and looks up at Louis with a warm smile. “This is so cute, Louis! Oh my goodness,” he says warmly as he pulls the necklace out carefully to really inspect it. It was a silver necklace with a gold detailing of two hands holding each other as the charm.

Louis relaxes immediately after that and his confidence soon regains shortly after. “Yeah, it’s just… I really like you Harry and no matter what happens I just want you know that I will always be here for you. It doesn’t have to be romantically, or intimately. We could just be best friends and I would be here for you in a heartbeat. I really do love you and I care about you. So much. No matter what, just know that I’ll always be here for you,” he whispers with large eyes, reaching over the table to take Harry’s hand.

Louis could see tears welling up in Harry’s eyes as he listens to Louis speak, a large grin on his face that he wasn’t even going to try to hide. The pure look of happiness is etched across his face so well and Louis nearly wants to take a picture to keep this very moment forever ingrained in his heart.

“Louis I love it so much! Thank you,” he whispers, reaching up to wipe the corners of his eyes before his mascara he was wearing could run down his face.

“Sweet,” he simply says with a chuckle before sliding out of the booth. “Here, let me put it on." He stands up, walking over to stand beside Harry in his seat. He unclasps the necklace as Harry lifts his hair up to reveal his neck, soon putting it on perfectly. He smiles as the necklace falls down in place before leaning in to kiss the nape of Harry’s neck. He can see Harry’s face shift from behind as if he were smiling again and that only makes Louis’ heart flutter just a bit. He sits back down in his seat and the two practically fond over each other for the rest of dinner, fortunately no one storming out upset this time.

❤

Work at the library suddenly becomes a struggle because Harry is there and so is Liam who eyes the two like a hawk and it’s to the point where it becomes aggravating. As he’s scanning a Curious George book for a little girl, he sees Liam walking over towards Harry and talking to him and Louis’ hairs on his neck literally stand on end. He really hopes Liam isn’t being a dick to Harry because honestly if he wanted to do that he could go through Louis, not Harry who has nothing to do with any tension he and Liam had.

Louis smiles at the girl and her father cheerfully, saying a polite ‘have a good afternoon’ before practically jumping over the counter and walking over towards the two. The closer he gets to the table, the more he realizes that things aren’t… they aren’t that bad? Harry’s holding a scrapbook (He’s been scrapbooking lately. It’s the ancient in him.) in his hands as he’s laughing at something Liam is saying.

The two look up when Louis clears his throat and Harry smiles fondly at Louis while Liam gives Louis a nod and a grin. “Liam was just telling me about the time he stuck a candle in between your ass cheeks on your 17th birthday while you were asleep,” he giggles behind his hand.

Louis’ face immediately falls and he turns to glare at Liam. Okay that was much worse than the possible conversation he thought they were having. “Really mate? Are you really asking for me to kick your ass?”

Harry laughs loudly before covering his mouth with his large hand. Liam rolls his eyes and shrugs. “I’m not good with icebreakers okay? So I figured an embarrassing Louis story was enough to suffice and it worked didn’t it Harry?”

Harry nods with a little smile.

Louis playfully glares at Harry. “Don’t think that gives you a pass to stick candles in my ass. I’d rather you not,” he says with a snort before turning to Liam. “Sooo, I take it we’re all friends then?”

Come on, it had to be brought up. Sure, he and Liam had been talking a bit more and he promised not to say anything about him and Harry but still. He needed clarification that they were okay.

Liam smiles at Louis before glancing back at Harry. “That’s the main reason why I came over. I was wondering if Harry wanted to go out tonight with us to Teddy’s for a few drinks and stuff. Just me and Niall and you two,” he suggests.

Louis could sense Harry’s excitement before he could even look at him and it honestly makes him smile. Harry had been so worried about him ruining his and Liam’s friendship so this was probably monumental to him. He almost wants to reach over and give Liam a big hug and kiss on the cheek for doing this, but he won’t because it’s Liam and that’s gross.

“Yes! I’d love to go,” Harry gushes. “I haven’t been to a club in forever. And a little party never hurt anyone.”

Louis’ eyebrows slightly raise. “Oh? So you like to party now Mary Poppins?”

Harry gasps with a little laugh to follow after. “I thought you knew me, Tomlinson,” he purrs with a little wink before getting up and gathering his water bottle and other things he’d brought with him. “Just pick me up at my place and you’ll see just how much I like to party.” And with that Harry’s sauntering out the door and Liam is whistling at the incredible confidence, looking over at Louis with a smirk.

“Well alrighty then,” Louis chuckles.

❤

Louis really isn’t expecting it. Like really, really isn’t expecting it when he rings Harry’s doorbell to his large ass house and the door opens revealing Harry in the most sexiest outfit he’s ever seen on him. There's a brown knitted crop halter top over his pale skin making his tummy and shoulders look so soft, little short shorts that made his smooth thighs look so kissable and a pair of ankle boots with a nice heel and to top it all off was some pretty light almost silky looking cardigan that stopped behind his knees.

Louis whimpers. He does. He hears it loud and clear as Harry leans against the door with a cheeky grin on his glossy lips. “Mary Poppins residence?” He answers, running his fingers through his loose, thick curls before pushing his cute sunglasses over his head. Another weak sound leaves Louis’ lips and his knees buckle and his heart hurts and his dick hurts and he’s going to die. His legs were so smooth and pretty and his stomach was out and the shoes made his legs look even longer and Louis was definitely a dead man.

“Did Mary get a makeover?” Louis blurts out which only causes Harry to laugh as he steps out of the house, closing the door behind him.

“Does Louis have a boner?” He shoots back and Louis actually has to look down to check and see if he actually does. Luckily he doesn’t, but it doesn’t guarantee that he won’t have one by the end of the night.

❤

By the time they are in the car on their way to Teddy’s, Harry’s pulled his little shawl off, his back and shoulders completely exposed and completely bite-able in Louis’ opinion. He has to focus on keeping his damn eyes on the road the entire time and he knows Harry is aware of his troubles and yet the man only makes it even harder when he presses the button to pull back Louis’ convertible top and throws his arms up excitedly. He’s singing along to the music on the radio and he doesn’t have a care in the world. The moon is bathing into his milky white skin so effortlessly and beautifully and Louis is so in love.

Finding a spot in Teddy’s is pretty complicated considering the fact that it was a Friday night and it was at its Happy Hour with drinks when they show up. Luckily Niall knows the guy who owns the bar and once they all meet up, they have a spot saved for them in a circular booth in the very back of the crowded club.

Harry looks so out of his element once they’re inside and Louis has to refrain from making a ‘welcome back Mary’ joke because he looks so uneasy it’s kind of concerning.

Once they get to the booth, Louis allows Harry to slide in first then him and Liam and Niall to follow suit. It’s pretty neat and comfortable for the most part and Harry is even bobbing his head to the music playing, rubbing his polished fingers up his arm anxiously. Louis slightly frowns and leans over towards him. “Are you okay?” He whispers before pulling back to look at Harry with deep concern.

That seems to burst Harry out of his bubble because seconds later he shrugs and scoffs. “Yeah, I’m totally fine,” he says with another shrug. “Let’s order drinks and oh, hi you must be Niall!” Harry smiles brightly at the blond boy, waving his long fingers at him.

Niall looks up with a nod. “The one and only. And I take it you’re Harry? The one Louis never shuts up about.”

“Dude!” Louis interrupts with a groan.

“But you don’t! You’re like oh Harry’s so pretty. Harry’s so cute. Harry Harry Harry. Have you seen Harry’s ass?”

Niall honestly had no clue who Harry really was and the situation. The only thing he was aware of was the age gap and he made fun of Louis enough for that. But it was better than being looked at as the guy who cheated with a person. Which was true but...

Harry’s laughing behind his hand at Niall's teasing before turning to look at Louis with a raised eyebrow. “So my ass is what really reeled you in?”

Louis laughs and throws a hand up along with a shake of his head. “Why not.”

Harry snorts as their server finally comes over, grinning at them fondly. “Welcome to Teddy’s! Can I get you anything!” The girl asks loudly over the David Guetta song currently playing, placing a basket of cheesy bread on the table.

Everyone orders a few beers to start off, but Harry being the oh so daring person he is orders some fun martini contraption and Louis can’t help but to snort this time. Harry looks up from the menu with a frown.

“What?”

“Nothing. You’re just. You’re something else. I love it though,” he says with a genuine smile. He looks at him fondly, soon noticing the glimmer of his necklace he’d given him earlier that week in his peripheral and it warms his heart just a little.

Harry must notice Louis staring now because soon a pair of fingers come delicately grasping it. Louis’ eyes travel back up to see Harry smiling shyly at him before he leans over to gently kiss him. Louis instantly kisses him back, his fingers resting on Harry’s hip. They almost get entirely carried away and begin to full on make out in a matter of seconds until Louis feels a slap to the back of his head.

“Shit!” He groans leaning back and gripping at his head. “What the fuck?”

“Snog later you two,” Liam teases before gesturing towards the drinks that had been delivered, the arrival completely unnoticed by the two.

Harry laughs fondly but doesn't pull away until he places one more kiss to Louis' lips. He turns towards his drink, clasping his hands together. "Ooh this looks yummy! It's all blue and tropical," he says unaware of the rest of the boys smiling amusedly at him.

Louis takes a swig of his beer as Harry begins to sip his drink, eyebrows knitting together at the taste. He pulls away momentarily, covering his mouth. "Oh my that's way stronger than I thought," he laughs weakly. "But so so good." And with that he's sipping a bit more confidently, the drink going away by the second.

"Whoa, whoa you're drinking like you just became legal! Slow down, baby," Louis laughs as Harry pulls away, wagging a finger at him.

"I am thirty five years old. I think I know how to hold my liquor you... you munchkin," he says before sticking his tongue out at Louis causing everyone at the table to burst into fits of laughter. Not at Harry particularly, just at the situation. It was adorable. Louis notices his friends looking at Harry with nothing but admiration. Good. He didn't want anything but that.

It takes two more of those "Blue Storms" (they learn what the drinks were called by round two) to get Harry up and excited. Louis was on his third beer so he feels a bit of a buzz but Harry is completely gone but it's adorable. Very adorable.

He's a bit jittery in his seat and he's staring at the dance floor almost longingly and it's quite amusing. Before Harry could practically have a panic attack from sitting for so long, Louis leans over again. "Wanna dance?" He asks loudly.

"Thought you'd never ask," Harry blurts out, already sliding out on his end of the booth, tugging Louis behind with him.

Louis chuckles and follows Harry out, shooting his friends a quick wave who were too busy stuffing their faces with cheesy bread and arguing about the school's game last night.

Louis stumbles onto the crowded dance floor as the song changes to something a bit slow and sexy. What Louis doesn't expect is Harry actually being good. And he means that in the nicest way. Harry claims that he's a terrible dance himself but as of now, that Harry was completely gone and out the window.

The Harry standing in front of him is slowly rocking his hips, circling them sensually as his arms are above his head. He drags one hand slowly down the other as he eyes Louis, slowly licking his bottom lip. He runs his fingers through his loose curls as he continues to sway his body in the most sensual way while Louis simply stands there like a stick in the mud, completely frozen and in a trance. That is until Harry slowly beckons for him to come with a single finger, biting down on his lip as his thumb hooks over the waistband of his high waisted shorts. Teasing.

Louis swallows the lump in his throat and comes over, immediately wrapping his arms around Harry and spinning him around roughly so his back is pressed against his chest.

"Oh?" Harry giggles as he begins to rock his body back into Louis'.

"Yeah," Louis simply says in return, hands traveling up Harry's waist and resting onto the front of his stomach as they rock to the beat of the song, grinding into each other almost desperately the longer they went.

He feels a number of eyes on them as Harry tilts his head back onto Louis' shoulder, their hips never stopping. The attention is overwhelming, until he notices that they are actually all staring right at Harry. The extremely hungry eyes of men of all ages gazing right at him as Louis' holding onto him possessively.

"You don't see it, do you?" He gruffly whispers into Harry's ear.

"Mm?"

"Everyone's staring at you." His hand slowly slide up back onto Harry's stomach, going up a bit high beneath the halter top now. He can hear Harry's sharp breath intake, but he doesn't stop Louis from going up even further with his hand.

They don't stop dancing within the heavy crowd as Louis' fingers snake up until they are cupping Harry's tits now, the man gasping slightly. "You're getting all the attention," Louis murmurs as his fingers trace over Harry's nipples now. "And you're just going to let daddy play with your tits right here aren't you?"

Harry lets out a gentle whimper as his own hands reach behind to grip at Louis' hair, arms tangling in his. "Daddy," he breathily moans as Louis begins to rub tiny circles into the raised skin, pressing down harder.

"Fuck," Harry breathes as he juts his ass back firmly into Louis' crotch now, causing him to groan into Harry's neck.

This was wild on so many levels but for some reason he feels so calm doing it. Teasing and just turning Harry on right in the middle of a dance floor. But it wasn't something Louis was technically thinking about. It was just happening and Harry was reacting so well and he feels himself getting hard from the way Harry is desperately moaning at this point from the sensitivity and the way he was rocking back into him as if he believes if he keeps doing it, Louis' cock will literally break through his jeans.

Suddenly though, Harry stops and spins around to face Louis, eyes fully blown before he's cupping Louis' face and kissing him desperately. "Take me home," he begs in between wet kisses.

Louis wraps his arms around Harry's slim body and kisses him back with just as much force, tongue in mouth and teeth nibbling on his plump bottom lip. "Okay, yeah. Okay. Let's just. Let me tell the guys--."

"Hurry!"

And with that Louis' nearly tripling over to get back to the table where Niall and Liam are talking to that familiar Zayn guy he always notices at the library. He has a beer in front of him but he had no time to dwell and make conversation because he has a super sexy and super needy boyfriend waiting for him on a crowded dance floor.

"Hey guys me and Harry are getting out of here!" Louis shouts.

"So soon?" Niall calls out with knitted eyebrows

"Umm yeah. Too many drinks! You know what they say! One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!" He hears himself say and honestly he wants to kick himself in the balls.

What the actual fuck.

The guys don't pay too much attention to that God awful suburban mother Facebook comment and simply shrug.

"Well alright I hope he feels better! Tell him that he owes me a free sewing class for this!" Liam says which earns an eye roll from Louis before he's turning back into the crowd and looking out for Harry.

He sees him standing in the very far corner near the doors, palming himself and playing with his nipples through his shirt. His eyes are fucking closed and Louis honestly think the drinking has really gone to shit for Harry.

A few guys are eying Harry as he's touching himself and moaning outright and Louis has to glare at them extra hard as he grabs Harry and nearly tugs him out of the bar, stumbling himself considering the fact that he's a bit tipsy but he knows he can make it back to Harry's house in one piece and without getting pulled over.

"How'd you find me? I could've sworn I was hidden," Harry cheekily giggles and Louis could almost spank his thigh for that.

"You knew they were watching you?" He asks as he starts the car once they're both inside.

Harry shrugs with another pretty little giggle which only causes Louis to roll his eyes and take off down the street. He throws his arms up to the sky again as he did before when they were driving to the club but now he's definitely more loose. Like his legs are on the door, feet dangling out of the open window.

Harry is completely gone and Louis can only laugh in amusement because it was endearing. No matter how absolutely smashed the man was, Louis found every aspect of drunk Harry so adorable and cute. He drives Harry back to his place and decides staying the night there would be best. He was almost certain Liam was going to bring the entire party back to their shared flat and he wasn’t in the mood for an after party.

They finally get back to Harry’s house, parking the car in the driveway while Harry is belting out the lyrics to JoJo’’s “Too Little, Too Late” which wouldn’t have been as weird if the radio wasn’t on silent the entire time and he hadn’t just started singing it out of the blue. Louis rushes over to Harry’s side and opens the door, kneeling down to unbuckle his seatbelt and then scoop him up bridal style. The man was incredibly light and Louis definitely appreciated that mostly because he loved carrying Harry overall because he knew how much he loved to pretend that he was smaller than he actually was. He loved being small and that was endearing on its own.

Louis carries Harry inside of the large house and guides him back down towards his bedroom and Harry’s whining instantly. “Are you still gonna fuck me? I want it so bad now. I’m ready,” he babbles as Louis starts pulling Harry’s shoes off. “Want your big cock deep inside of me again daddy. And then I want you to spank my ass and call me your naughty girl,” he continues on and Louis’ cock would be extremely hard by this point if it wasn’t for Harry being intoxicated. It would never feel right if he’d done any of that shit with Harry being so drunk. He would never live with himself if he did that.

Luckily by the time Louis pulls Harry’s shorts down to expose his baby blue thong, the older man is passed out, lying across the bed like a starfish, mouth wide open as soft snores leave it. Louis can’t help the slight chuckle that leaves his lips.

He pulls his own clothes off until he’s just in his underwear and he crawls onto the bed, rolling Harry just a little so he could properly get on the bed. He ends up flipping him over though so he’s on his side and he’s properly spooning the boy, they’re usual position whenever they had the chance to sleep together. Harry lets out a whimper and Louis places a light kiss onto his shoulder blade before drifting off to sleep, his fingers lightly playing with Harry’s necklace.

❤

The next morning Louis wakes up to the smell of brewing coffee and the sound of a screaming kettle. He groans and rolls onto his back, staring up at the all too familiar ceiling before finally getting the willpower to roll again and letting his feet touch the cold wooden floor. Harry’s clothes he’d pulled off of him last night were neatly folded on top of his dresser and Louis’ clothes were folded right beside and that makes him smile so big even if he was still tired at the ass crack of dawn. It was so cute and domestic. He could get used to waking up and seeing things like that.

He yawns and stretches his arms above his head before quietly walking down the hall and following the scents and sounds down that led him into the fairly large kitchen. Ever since they started talking and spending more time at Harry’s, the older man was able to make more use of his kitchen again and Louis could tell it affected Harry a lot. He was a lot more chipper just from that change and Louis was glad. It was obvious Harry loved to cook and it sucked that that passion had been taken away from him momentarily.

Louis stands against the wall for a while with his arms folded across his chest as he watches the pretty man bustle around the kitchen so gracefully. He was wearing a pretty oversized concert shirt Louis had bought him when he and Niall went out to go see John Mayer a couple of weeks ago. Harry loved big shirts and Louis had made sure to get him one because he’d learned that he was fan. Unfortunately they’d bought the tickets nearly a year before and they were sold out by the time Louis had learned that fact. Fortunately, Harry wasn’t upset about missing the concert, in fact he had a few afternoon and evening sewing classes he had to teach that night.

He loved the giant shirt though. It looked so cute on him and his hair was in one of his messy top buns again and his cute usually painted toes were covered with a pair of polka dotted knee high socks. God, he was so in love.

Louis finally makes his way into the kitchen when Harry starts grabbing for the plate to serve the meal, smiling gently when he hears the boy singing under his breath. “Smells good,” he finally says, causing the man to jump a little. He spins around and smiles brightly at him.

“Thank you,” he shyly returns as he sets the plates down. “Um, I’m sorry about last night… I guess I wasn’t too great at holding my liquor after all. God, I hope your friends don’t think I’m weird. Do they hate me?” Harry asks with large eyes as he nibbles on his bottom lip.

“No, baby you’re fine. You were having fun. We all were,” Louis assures as he walks over to plant a gentle kiss on Harry’s lips. “Besides, those guys at the club were eying you like hungry wolves or something. Trying to come straight for your heart. And you know I wasn’t going to be okay with that.”

Harry coos and gives Louis a playful pouty face look. “Aw, look at you looking out for me,” he then says giggling behind his hand and turning back to the stove so he could flip over the last pancake.

Louis shrugs and hops on the kitchen island across from the stove. “What can I say. I’m a possessive man.”

Harry giggles again and fondly rolls his eyes as he starts to properly set the plates, their quick and basic breakfast smelling quite delicious. “I’m sorry. I would have made something more… extravagant if I wasn’t so hungover.” Harry sighs and goes back to taking another large sip of water from the little cup he had set over to the side.

Louis shakes his head immediately. “Baby, please stop apologizing. Everything is great. I’m grateful that you even woke up early to do this for me too if you’re still feeling so hungover,” Louis murmurs as he watches Harry prepare his tea and then make his own coffee moments later.

Harry pushes a loose strand that was from his bun out of his eyes and sheepishly shrugs. Louis grabs the two plates and carries them out towards the table while Harry follows with the mugs. “I know it’s just… I want you to still be okay with me. I’m…” He slowly trails off after he sits down with the mugs on the table now. “I know I’m weird and I don’t act like the average person my age. I’m not very fun because I like to keep to myself. And I’m just sort of… There. I guess that’s the reason why Nath--.” Louis immediately shakes his head when Harry starts to say his name and the man nods quickly, a blush spreading across his face before he continues. “Maybe that’s the reason why he’s always busy at work so he can just… Stay away from me and my weirdness. Last night I just wanted to look all cool and wild again and it didn’t feel like me. I had so much fun with you and I love drinking, but the club thing was just… Ugh, I don’t know.” He sighs and covers his face with both of his hands, causing Louis to frown.

He walks over towards Harry’s side of the table and kneels in front of him, pulling his hands away. Harry’s face is red and there’s tears rolling down his face. “No, sweetheart please don’t cry. I love you so much. I don’t give two shits about you not enjoying the club or any of that bullshit. I love that you enjoy sewing and watching those stupidly dramatic soap operas during the day and that you garden as much as you can and that you love scrapbooking and drawing and dancing and shopping and yoga and doing your makeup and painting your nails and looking on Pinterest literally every hour for some kind of recipe or outfit idea to try. You are the definition of warmth and home and calm and I love that so much about you. You’re so pretty and peaceful. Who wouldn’t want to spend the rest of their days with someone like that?”

Louis was being completely honest. Harry may not be his legally, but in his heart and in his mind, he’d like to think that he was always with Harry somehow forever. Everything about Harry was what he wanted. Age gap or not. It still was a bit painful to have that thought in the back of his mind about Harry being married, but with the ring not making an appearance as much anymore or even the name ever being brought up until today, it seemed like Harry was actually Louis’ and only Louis’.

Harry sniffles with a weak smile on his face as he gazes down at Louis lovingly. He couldn’t help but to slightly giggle as he reaches up to gently wipe his eyes. “You forgot to mention my love for collecting dildos and vibrators…” He trails off and Louis perks up immediately.

“What.”

Harry giggles cutely and pushes his hair out of his eyes and sits up a bit straighter, more confident. “I have a collection of dildos and vibrators in one room of the house,” he confesses and Louis is well… very intrigued by this new piece of information.

“....Oh?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you gonna show it to me?”

“Finish your breakfast daddy.”

And Louis does just that. He might get severe heartburn in another hour from scarfing his food down like a maniac, but at least he was going to have heartburn while looking at all the toys Harry more than likely had up his ass at some point in time.

Once they are both finished and the dishes are fully washed and dried, Harry giggles and takes Louis’ hand in his, leading him down the hallway and up the stairs again. They walk on and on until they get to door on the very end of the hall. Harry bites his lip and look over his shoulder at Louis cutely which causes the younger boy to slightly chuckle and return with a wink.

Harry finally opens the door and allows Louis to step inside first and there’s seriously a collection. A full fucking wall of toys that were in different colors and textures and some had designs while others were a bit more plain and realistic. It was all so intriguing and Louis is pretty sure he is gaping.

The room itself was a pastel pink on the walls with a lush white carpet covering the entire floor. He had a little chaise lounge chair next to a side table with a pretty rice paper lamp shaped like a ball on top. Harry spins around just a little, his large shirt falling off of his shoulder just a little before he turns back to look at Louis. “So um, this is it…” He trails off with a little smile.

Louis is speechless. Completely. He feels the lump form in his throat and he almost can’t talk. When he tries to, a foreign squeaky noise leaves his mouth instead which causes Harry to smile even more. He turns towards one vibrator and turns it on, watching it bob up and down like a slow thrust. “It goes faster…” He murmurs as he watches Louis’ face. He then walks on towards another one that was a purple dildo that was probably as thick as a shampoo bottle. “I tried this once and I was sure I was going to have to go to the ER or something,” he giggles. “Never again. At last not yet…”

Louis is still holding his breath as he silently nods, walking along with Harry until he picks up a vibrator with an actual piece attached to the side as well. “Call this the clit teaser,” he jokingly says. “It’s for people with actual vaginas but I like it so much. It still vibrates against my clit when I’m fucking myself with the other piece,” he nonchalantly says before turning to a very realistic one. It’s white but slightly tan and it’s pretty veiny and it looks like your basic dildo.

“I haven’t really tried this one yet. It’s like… It comes inside of you. It’ not real, but it’s supposed to give you the sensation of someone coming inside of you,” he rambles on as Louis’ knee starts to go weak.

“Why haven’t you tried it yet?” He finally hears his scratchy voice ask.

Harry holds the toy in his hand shyly, biting his lip. “Because I had you… You took care of me and I didn’t need it. I bought it the week before we started talking in the library.”

Louis gnaws on his bottom lip as he watches Harry’s large, but somehow dainty hands hold the toy. His painted sparkly pink nails fiddling with the base but not turning it on. “Do you… Do you want to try it now?”

Harry’s eyes slightly widen but he bites his lip sharply and nods quickly. “Please daddy,” he softly whimpers. He stares at Louis once more just to really get that approval and once hets gets that nod he’s scrambling over towards the chaise lounge and sitting down desperately. Louis makes his way over towards the chair that was across the room, resting his elbows on his thighs as he watches Harry reach over to grab the lube from the drawer beside him. It’s in a pretty pink bottle and it;s so Harry, Louis can’t help but to smile.

Harry sets it over to the side momentarily, biting down on his lip again as he runs his hands up his smooth thighs, eyeing Louis directly. He knows what the man is doing and it’s so hot just to watch him turn himself on. Get himself hot and just ready.

Harry trails his fingers across his nipples that were poking at his large shirt and presses down on them, a tiny breathy moan leaving his lips as he continues to look at Louis, their gaze strong. He circles his fingers around his nipples, before finally reaching a hand down to tug his lacy panties down, slowly kicking them down his dainty legs and across the room.

As soon as Harry starts reaching for the toy after stroking his own cock underneath his shirt with a lubed up hand, Louis is nearly on the verge of already coming in his pants. Harry weakly pulls his shirt off finally so he’s just in his knee high socks and he lubes the dildo up quickly, stroking it ever so gently.

He slides a bit lower on the lounge so he could spread his long legs and show off his pretty pink hole that Louis loved oh so dearly. Harry starts to trace the head of the cock against his hole, his eyes low but focused on the ceiling now as his puffy pink lips are slightly parted. “Oh daddy…” He trails off with a heavy breath.

Louis wants to interject and ask about prepping and being a good boy and doing that and such, but he can’t find his voice to speak again and Harry looks completely out of it. Like he doesn’t care. Like he doesn’t want it. So instead, Louis’ hand finds its way down to palm his own cock as Harry eases his toy inside of him.

“Oh fuck me, daddy,” he whimpers as he pushes it in all the way, sucking a huge breath of air through clenched teeth before he’s circling his hips just a little after his hole practically swallows the toy.

Harry closes his eyes momentarily as he thrusts the toy inside of him at an actual pace, mouth hanging open as he ruts down on the toy, his moans getting louder by the second. Louis can’t look away even if he wanted to. His eyes are transfixed on Harry trying so desperately to keep the toy fucking him open, his hair flying as he slams his hips down as if he’s just trying to find some way to ride the dildo.

“Daddy, fuck. Feels so good. Love your cock in my pussy,” he whines as his hands start to move a bit faster, thrusting the toy deep inside of him as his moans grow louder. Harry arches his back off of the lounge as his wrist quickens and his free hand finds a way to blindly play with his cock, stroking it in the same rhythm as the toy.

This goes on for a few long moments that seem to fly by in Louis’ eyes because it’s all so hot and watching Harry fuck himself like this is so… beautiful. It is. His body is twisting and writhing so beautifully and his painted toes curl into the lounge desperately every so often, especially when he lets out a loud scream.

Louis can tell when Harry is close because he’s thrusting the toy inside of his possibly gaping hole at lightning speed and it’s almost unbelievable. He has full tears rolling down his face at this point and his moans are turning into sobs and hiccups. Harry slams the toy inside of him with just two more hard thrusts and on the second one, Louis hears some kind of click and Harry is coming all over his tummy and so is the toy deep inside of him.

“Oh daddy! Louis! Mmng,” Harry keens as he slumps against the couch, pulling the toy in and out. Louis could see the white “come” rolling down and out of Harry’s hole, and it’s so fucking hot. Just seeing this from a different perspective.

Harry rides out his orgasm just a bit quietly, keeping the toy slightly in, but out enough to have the come spill down and onto the lounge. He knows Harry is going to have a proper fit when he sees it, but at that moment the older man is too spent to care. He has just the amount of strength to motion a single finger for Louis to come over and kiss the life out of him.

❤

Things are weird. So weird. And it’s so confusing because when Louis last left Harry that morning after the club everything was okay. He’d taken a long shower with Harry after he showed him his amazing toy and they cuddled a little while longer and talked until Louis had to leave to go to work. They kissed right at the door and hugged and exchanged ‘I love you’s’ and Louis left feeling good. So good.

But now three days have passed and Harry hasn’t responded to Louis’ texts or any of his calls and he’s freaking out now. Just a little. Maybe a lot.

He’s so worried he fucks up two books he was meant to properly scan and he nearly falls off the ladder trying to place the books properly in the shelves. He’s so out of it that Liam even gives him a funky look when he’s studying in his usual spot beside Louis.

“You okay, mate?” Liam finally asks when Louis swears under his breath when he accidentally spills his Dr. Pepper on the counter.

Louis groans and shakes his head, slamming the can on the counter. “No, I’m great,” he sarcastically says as he grabs a bunch of paper towels to dab the counter quickly before it got too sticky.

“Is it Harry?”

Louis sighs heavily and runs his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, I haven’t spoken to him in days and I’ve been too busy to have the chance to go visit and I’m freaking out man. I hope nothing’s happened to him,” Louis babbles as he continue to dab the spot that had been dry at least thirty seconds ago. “I love him so much you know? And we’ve never gone this far without at least just a tiny conversation over text,” he continues on as he dabs the same spot.

Liam watches Louis for a long while before rolling his eyes and closing his philosophy book. “Alright, move out the way,” he says as he pushes Louis out from behind the counter. “I’ll take over. I’m sure Mrs. Adams won’t mind me helping.”

“Really? Oh thanks mate! You’re a lifesaver,” Louis quickly says already hopping over the counter before he could even finish his sentence.

“Yeah, yeah. Just go see what’s up with Harry.”

Louis gives Liam a quick salute before rushing out of the Uni library and racing over towards his car.

The ride to Harry’s is so nerve wracking because he doesn’t know what to expect. A small portion in the back of his mind had an inkling, but he ignores it. Shoves it deep down in the very depths of his brain. Tucked away and locked in a safe and making sure the key is melted into a puddle.

Once he’s there at the large home, he feels his stomach doing a number of somersaults and he nearly feels like vomiting. He’s not sure why he’s so nervous. Harry could just be sick, which well that wasn’t good, but that didn’t mean Louis would have to leave him forever. He could even stay and help nurse him back to health like a good boyfriend.

After giving himself a small pep talk, Louis finally gets up and makes his way over towards the front door. He rings the doorbell and immediately tucks his hands in his hoodie right after. He doesn’t have to wait long for the door to open, but he honestly wishes it never had. He wishes he never even came over today. Or any day. Or ever when he sees a large, unfamiliar man in a white button up and loosened tie and slacks at the door.

He had dark nearly black curly hair and a beard to match and he was pretty handsome Louis would give him that.

“Yes?” The man asks with a raised eyebrow, leaning against the doorframe almost defensively.

Louis is nearly speechless and he feels his throat tighten up and he couldn’t talk or even breathe for that matter.

When the man gives him an annoyed look and opens his mouth as if he's about to say something really asshole worthy before kicking him out, Louis blinks and clears his throat.

“I’m looking for Harry Styles. He's um, a friend of mine,” he finally says.

The man raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything as he studies Louis for a long while. “Harry!” He calls but not looking away from Louis, the look of suspicion still etched across his face tremendously.

Louis keeps his cool though. He knew how to do that.

Soon enough Harry comes padding into view. His hair pulled back in a bun clad in just in a halter top and shorts. Like he’d been comfortably lounging around the house. Completely fine. One hundred percent.

“Yes, honey--.” Harry stops dead in his tracks when his eyes meet Louis. His mouth falls open and there’s instantly a flash of panic and worry in his eyes. He quickly masks it and turns to look at the larger man. “Oh, this is my student Louis! What a surprise,” Harry says with a giggle as he pushes Nathan’s arm down so Harry could properly see Louis.

“Hi Louis! How are you?” Harry asks in an all too fake smile and voice and Louis feels his anger and hurt surge through his body. Through his veins. His heart. He lets out a low breath before pulling on his own big bright smile.

“I’m just dandy Harry. Do you mind having a chat with me outside on the porch? Just a question about… Needles. You know with the sewing tricks you taught us. I’m having such a hard time and I was just in the neighborhood…”

Harry frowns slightly and glances over towards Nathan, the dark haired man shrugging. “I don’t care. Just make sure he’s gone before five so we can eat,” he scoffs before turning down back into the house.

“I will! Don’t worry honey,” Harry calls over his shoulder before biting his lip and slipping out of the door quietly, closing it behind him. “You need to leave, Louis…” He finally says, eyes staring down at his bare feet.

Louis’ eyes nearly bug out of his head before he could pen his mouth. “Are you… Are you serious right now? Harry I was fucking worried about you! We haven’t spoken in three days and I--.”

Harry covers his own mouth, tears already forming in his eyes as Louis starts speaking. “Please Louis. You can’t be here. I… I have a husband. I have to be good. Be good to him,” he whimpers. “Our anniversary was three days ago and he came back home. He remembered. He came home and surprised me.”

Louis could feel his heart sink immediately as Harry speaks, his vision suddenly becoming blurry. He knew there was a possibility of this happening in the back of his mind, but that was where he had kept it. Tucked in the back of his mind, living in some fantasy where Nathan didn’t exist and it was just them. Harry and Louis and whatever future they had.

“He came home and it made me realize that I have to be good. I have to be a good spouse,” Harry continues on, tears streaming down his gorgeous face as he sniffs and hugs himself.

“But what about us? What we had was real Harry. You know that!” Louis whisper yells, knowing that Nathan could walk by any second and eavesdrop if he wanted to.

Harry covers his face with his hands again and he watches his little body start to violently shake from his silent sobbing before he looks up again, eyes and face completely red and wet. “L-Louis, I appreciate you so much. But this isn’t real. This c-can’t happen.”

“Oh fucking bullshit Harry. It was real from the minute you came to see me after your sorry ass husband forgot your birthday. All those months when I was the one who took care of you and not your sorry ass husband,” he continues on and he knows, knows that Harry wasn’t the only one in the wrong. He was stupid enough to actually follow through with this. Knowing that this could happen. That his heart could get stomped on and smashed and broken into a million pieces.

But he was still hurt tremendously at the situation. How Harry could easily bounce back to this man who paid no attention to him. Put his work before his spouse. Didn’t give him the love that he deserved.

It was infuriating that Harry wanted that over what Louis could give. Louis would give him the the moon and the stars and the sun. He would give him the entire fucking universe if he could.

But obviously Harry didn’t want that.

At this point Harry’s sobs were completely audible now and Louis wants to just envelope him into a tight hug and kiss his tears away, but he couldn’t. He probably wasn’t even allowed to touch him anymore at this point. There was nothing he could say because in the end Louis should have seen it coming.

But he still loves him.

So much.

“Babe, come on! I’m hungry!” An annoyed voice sounds from behind the door, causing Louis to blink out of his thoughts.

“Enjoy your life then. I hope he gives you everything you deserve,” he mutters before finally turning away and heading back to his car, leaving a crying Harry on the porch.

“L-Louis,” Harry stammers as he calls out, but Louis continues to walk, not sparing another single glance. It was too much. It was too much for him to handle.

Harry bites his lip and watches Louis take off down the driveway, hugging himself tightly.  
He doesn't realize how long he's standing there until he hears the door open behind him roughly. “God, can you hurry up?” Nathan asks impatiently causing Harry to sniff and look down so the man couldn't see his red face.

“Oh, um… I’m sorry. I'll go start dinner now, honey,” Harry murmurs before scurrying inside, a dull ache rattling in his chest as he forces himself to pull the ingredients out without bursting into another set of tears.

❤️

“Remind me again of how much of a dumbass I am,” Louis drunkenly mutters as he takes a long gulp of the bottle of vodka he had in his hand.

“You're a dumbass for talking to Harry and one for drinking this much vodka straight from the bottle. Chill out dude,” Liam says with furrowed eyebrows as he takes the bottle away after one sharp yank.

Louis whines and drops his head into his hands, running his fingers through his hair. “How could I be so stupid? I knew from the get go that he was married and I still went along like a dumbass. I still let myself fall into that trap. That's what Harry Styles is. A giant fucking trap.”

Liam sighs and gently pats Louis’ back. “You were following your heart. Well at least that's what you thought you were doing. And maybe he just led you on…”

“No, that's the thing Liam. It was real. I know I sound in denial, but I swear to you it was real. We both felt it. It wasn't one sided and that's what makes it worse. All of those real feelings completely flushed down the toilet. Like it was nothing to him,” he mutters before reaching over to yank his bottle again and take a large sip.

“I fucking love him, Liam.”

Liam runs his fingers through his hair. “Well obviously Harry isn't here to return the feelings Louis. That's just… tough love. I'm not telling you to move on so soon, but I need you to understand that Harry is going to stay with his husband. He made it up in his mind that that was best for him and you have to understand that.”

Louis grumbles and snatches the bottle back from Liam again, shaking his head. “Doesn’t mean I can’t be pissed,” he mutters under his breath before scoffing and taking a long sip.

The rest of the night consists of Louis drunkenly rambling on and on about Harry and Liam listening, giving the boy his undivided attention like a good friend, though he really just wanted to fucking go to sleep already. Luckily, Louis ends up passing out on the couch, bottle in hand. Liam takes the bottle and tosses a blanket over the boy and heads back to his room without another word.

❤️

Harry had been feeling a bit odd lately ever since Louis left and it wasn’t because of the situation in general. That was painful on its own. Whenever his husband looked at him or smiled at him, he didn’t feel that warm feeling. He felt more of a sense of uneasiness and maybe that was normal considering the fact that he had been cheating on him for months. Fell in love with someone else over the past few months.

But there was something else bothering Harry. He’d been a bit ill the past few days and he could only wonder if it was just his nerves. He was more on edge than ever and he hadn’t been feeling this stressed in a while now. Ever since Louis came along, stress was a distant aspect of his life. But now it was back and it was making him feel more sick than ever.

Maybe it was the longing for Louis to be back, holding him in his arms. Making those silly jokes and sarcastic comments whenever they watched tv together and the fun and cute moments they had in the kitchen when making meals. The times they’d spend at the park feeding the ducks even though he knew Louis hated it but did it because Harry enjoyed it so much and he just loved to see him smile. Whenever they went sight seeing together and took a ton of pictures for Harry’s scrapbook and even a few for Louis’ tumblr.

They fit each other perfectly. Like puzzle pieces and Harry missed it so much. His body ached for Louis, but it wasn’t right. It wasn’t okay.

He made a vow. A vow that he needed to keep.

After a dinner out with Nathan and his colleagues, Harry only has one thing on his mind: going to bed and completely ignoring the world.

Nathan has other plans though and once they're home, the older of the two stumbles inside, drunkenly pressing his lips onto Harry’s red lipstick covered ones. Harry squeaks and reluctantly kisses the man back, though he so wants to just go to bed and curl in on himself. He wasn't in the mood for sex or sensuality. He felt so nauseous.

He continues to kiss Nathan back though, his arms soon finding their way around his neck as the man carries him down the hall to their bedroom.

He strips Harry's cocktail dress off easily along with his panties, the younger man’s eyes staring up at the ceiling almost in a daze as Nathan mutters filthy words into his soft skin.

Harry lets out a shaky breath as the man kisses his thighs, the nauseous feeling washing over him as they continue.

When he slips inside of him and starts to fuck him, Harry's eyes squeeze shut all the while. It's so hard to be so sexually focused. He has so many things on his mind and his heart was pounding in his chest.

Nathan pulls Harry on top of him so he's riding him, soft moans leaving his lip as bites his knuckles. He keeps his eyes shut as he rocks down on Nathan’s cock, the older man’s moans soon blending into his own.

Harry’s mind starts to drift as he quickens his pace, flashes of someone else trailing in his mind. Someone else's hands cupping his ass and holding his hips. Someone else holding him close like he actually meant something. Like he was someone else's world.

Harry moans loudly as Louis fucks up into him, murmuring sweet ‘I loves you's’ and ‘you look so gorgeous baby’ into the air, his raspy voice sending shivers down Harry's spine.

“Daddy's gonna take care of you darling,” Louis murmurs, making him moan breathily.

“Oh fuck! L-Louis!” Harry loudly moans, fingers digging into the chest beneath him.

Harry's eyes then snap open when he feels everything come to a stop. The room is completely still and he no longer feels nauseous, more so completely tense and stiff.

He looks down at Nathan who’s staring up at him with hard, cold eyes.

“I-- Nathan. I’m so sorr--.”

“Get the fuck off me,” the older man mutters already shoving Harry off and onto the bed, the younger man instantly covering his mouth and letting out a soft sound.

“I didn't mean to--. I wasn't thinking. It's nothing,” Harry stammers as he bundles up his bed sheet and holds it close to his body, tears welling up in his eyes as Nathan sits over the edge of the bed, face in his hands.

“Shut the fuck up, Harry,” he growls. “Don't be a fucking liar. How long have you been fucking that kid?” He says almost in disgust which makes Harry crumple up even more his body going through a million different flashes.

“He's not… It's not like that.”

“Yes it is! It is like that. I'm gone for fucking eight months and you can't keep your legs closed. What kind of shit is that? You're a fucking ungrateful slut,” he retorts as he turns to look at Harry, eyes wild.

Harry flinches and covers his face with his hands. He feels so disgusting and wrong and so bad and he just can't bring himself to form any proper words. A part of him can't even believe this is happening. He never thought those two worlds would even collide if he just forced himself to forget. Forget he loved Louis and that Louis was the one who made him feel worth something.

It was wrong.

“Nathan I'm so sorry. You have no idea. I… I was lonely and you forgot my birthday. You didn't even call to check on me. You never answered my calls. You made me feel worthless! You do this every year for work! What was I supposed to do?” Harry goes, voice shaky but rising.

“You're supposed to wait and be loyal like a good fucking spouse is supposed to be. What kind of bullshit excuse, Harry? Did you even fucking love me? Did you marry me just for the fucking money?”

“No!” Harry screams as he clutches the sheets even closer to him. “I loved you!” And his face slightly falls when he realizes the way he actually said it. Loved. He loved him.

Not anymore.

Nathan snorts, the disgusted look never leaving his face as he stares at Harry up and down as if he's foreign to him. Like they hadn't been married for eight years before.

“You're fucking pathetic. Dependent bitch,” he mutters before looking at the necklace Louis had given him that was sat around his neck. He reaches over and tightly yanks it, causing it to break off of Harry's neck.

Harry gasps and instantly touches his neck. “Give that back!” He weakly orders.

“Did your little fucking boy toy buy you this piece of garbage?” Nathan asks looking at the necklace with distaste.

“Nathan please. Just, please give it back,” Harry whimpers, crawling over to take it. Before he can, the man shoves him away, causing Harry to fall into the floor, hitting his head against the wood.

He lets out a loud gasp as he clutches his throbbing head, looking up at Nathan who stands up and walks over towards the bathroom and hovers over the toilet.

Harry's eyes widen and he can't help but to feel so defensive. “Nathan no! No no no!” Harry screams as he gets up to yank the man's arm back but it's too late. He drops the necklace as soon as he's there, and flushes it down.

Harry watches the necklace go down the toilet quickly, disappearing forever. Soon enough he's sinking onto the floor, bawling into his hands before the man kicks Harry over to the side and out of the way. “I-I’m sorry,” Harry sputters over and over, rocking back and forth.

“No you're not,” Nathan says, a lot more calm. “You're not fucking sorry. You don't give a shit.”

“I am! I’m so sorry. I'm so stupid. I am dependent. I'm so dependent. I'm sorry,” Harry sobs into his hands. “I'm so disgusting.”

“Get the fuck out of my house,” Nathan finally mutters over Harry's sobs. Harry continues to cry not even reacting to his demand before Nathan shouts and punches the wall in anger.

“Get out of my house Harry before I fucking kill you!”

Harry then scrambles up immediately, rushing to his closet to at least grab something to wear. He makes sure to lock the door behind him so he could change quickly and not worry about Nathan sneaking him behind and hurting him.

He can't find anything though. His mind is hazy and he can't work fast enough. He ends up grabbing the John Mayer shirt and a pair of jeans and rain boots. It's all of what he sees first before he's scrambling out.

Nathan isn't in the room so it's just enough for Harry to grab his phone, wallet, and his keys to his own car and walk downstairs immediately. Nathan is at the kitchen counter with a shot glass in his hand. He'd taken a sip from the glass before letting out a loud shout and launching it across the room, the glass shattering against the wall.

Harry flinches and slips out of the house, feeling more broken than ever.

❤️

Louis hates working at the library. He owes Liam a strong punch to the face. Everything was different now and he knows it's not Liam’s fault for Louis wanting to avoid every bit of the back of the library where the mushy adult romance novels were.

But Louis hates Liam for even helping him get this job. For letting him ever even get the chance to lay eyes on Harry Styles. For letting him fall deeply in love with him.

That fire still burns inside of him every single day. Louis misses Harry with every fiber inside of him, but it doesn't matter. It still hurts. It still feels messy and completely irreplaceable. Those long months, nearly more than half a year spent with Harry were the best days of his life and nothing would change that or make up for it.

And he wishes that he could forget. He wishes he could make up new memories for that time. Instead of having flashes of the man who made him realize that his heart was even capable of loving someone that much.

But he can't. He can't forget. And as he's scanning books like he does every Thursday afternoon, he's still haunted by those memories.

Louis runs his fingers through his hair as he takes a long sip of his bitter coffee. He hates it so much, but he started drinking it a month ago after seeing Harry for the last time. He’s twenty now and much hadn't changed except for the fact that he was more depressed and drank more coffee than usual.

He mindlessly scans the books for customers, paying no real attention to who he was talking to and who he was actually helping. Soon enough he scans a familiar book. Open: A tale of a lost love that is found again.

His eyes immediately dart up and he sees a sheepish looking Harry looking back at Louis almost intensely.

Louis feels sick. He sucks in a sharp breath and scans the book again, shaking his head quickly. That wasn't Harry. He's hallucinating. He really is.

“Have a good day,” he mutters looking back down but the person doesn't take the book. Louis looks back up and Harry is still standing there.

His face is a bit more pale than normal, but his eyes are bright and he looked a bit glowy. His hair is braided into a little halo around his head and he looks beautiful.

“What are you doing here?” Louis then finally asks when he realizes that it's actually Harry and he wasn't leaving.

It's not some butterfly in your stomach moment where his heart swells immensely and he just wants to launch himself over towards the boy and kiss him deeply.

He hates that it isn't.

But he's with someone else, so how else is Louis supposed to feel?

“I came to see you,” he finally says in a little whisper.

“Why?” Louis flatly asks.

Harry frowns just a little before reaching over to take Louis’ hand. “I… I was stupid. I know I don't deserve your time at all. Ever again. You can hate my guts until the day you die and I'll understand. Completely. But one thing I need you to know, is that I love you. I always will love you Louis. I never stopped loving you,” he goes on, eyes watering before he uses his incredibly large sweater to wipe his tears with his other hand.

“And… Nathan and I aren't together anymore. He found out in the worst way,” he continues on and Louis is grateful that it's closing time and no one else is around to interrupt or see them talking because this obviously wasn't going to be a quick and easy conversation.

Louis’ eyebrows knit together as he listens to Harry speak. “You aren't together,” he then says to firmly restate Harry's words.

Harry shakes his head quickly before letting out a tiny sigh. “It was… It was bad. But it also made me realize that I was going to live the rest of my life lying to myself and to him and that wasn't fair. I wasn't in love with him, Louis. I fell out of love before you and I even started talking, but I was trying so hard to hold on. To be a good person and I still feel like a terrible and shitty person to this day, but I don't have that weight and heavy guilt on my shoulders anymore. I don't have to lie to him or myself.” Quiet tears begin to roll down his face as he speaks.

Louis unconsciously reaches over to wipe them from Harry's face with his thumb, soon cupping his face with the same hand.

“I’m so sorry,” he then says, starting to break down. “I shouldn't have come here. I feel so disgusting.”

Louis shakes his head quickly and moves around the counter to try to hug Harry. The older man stops him though and hugs himself instead. Louis sighs but stays close anyway, cupping his face. “No, I'm so glad to see you. It still really fucking hurts, but I was in the wrong too Harry. It takes more than one person to do what we did. We were both responsible for it. I just… I loved you so much and I still do now, but I was so hurt and angry because I knew I wasn't going to be able to be yours.”

Harry looks down at Louis with his large watery eyes, sniffing. “You still can be. Please. God, Louis I missed you so much and it's been so hard. I had to move back in with my mother and stepdad and it was so hard telling them the truth. Telling them what happened. They were so disappointed in me and the looks on their faces. It was so… So bad,” he sobs pushing his cheek into Louis’ hand. “I-I'm so grateful they still took me in. They still care about me. I'm so t-terrible.”

“Shhh. Don't say that,” Louis immediately says. “Please stop saying that. You are so beautiful, baby. So special to me.”

“But I'm not. I'm a cheater. I'm a liar. I'm--.”

“You made your mistake. I helped you. If anything I'm fucked up for letting it continue. Harry we can either dwell on this until the day we die. Or live our lives,” Louis finally says as he stares deeply into Harry's eyes. “So what do you want to do?”

Harry lets out a shaky breath and slowly nods. “I want to live.”

Louis nods in agreement before leaning over to gently kiss his lips and God he missed those lips so much. Everything about Harry.

That kiss only causes every single memory to come back. The long nights talking on and on about anything. Their dreams, their interests, their fears, what they wanted from life, their hopes, what made them sad, their family, starting a family, what they feared, what they hated, what they loved.

It all comes back from that single kiss and when Louis pulls away he feels rejuvenated. Like a new person.

Harry lets out a shaky breath as he rests his forehead against Louis’. He opens and closes his mouth before biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

“What is it?” Louis softly asks, eyebrows knitting together. He could read Harry like a book. There was something else. Something more.

Harry finally opens his eyes and gives Louis a weak, sad smile. “I'm um… I’m pregnant.”

Louis eyes slightly widen and before he could even open his mouth Harry shakes his head. “It's ours,” he immediately states. The only time he's had sex with Nathan was the last night he'd properly seen him and the fight broke out and they'd never finished. It was definitely Louis’.

“That's another reason why I was scared to see you and I felt disgusting because… I don't want to be a burden. I've caused so much to happen in your life Louis. You don't deserve any of this. At all. And I wasn't trying to get pregnant when we had sex. I was taking birth control for Nathan before and I just, I lost track and that's such a shit excuse. But you don't have to do with any of this. I don't want you to feel obligated to take care of them, but I'm keeping the baby. I've wanted a baby for so long and I can't imagine it being with any person better than you and--.”

“Harry, listen to me. I'm helping you raise our child. It's not like I was never going to want kids, but I guess… I guess I'm starting early. My mum was around the same age when she had me. It… It happens. It is what it is. But don't think for a second I'm going to abandon you,” Louis finally says with stern eyes.

Harry smiles weakly before shaking his head in disbelief. “What did I do to deserve you?” He bites his lip before quickly adding. “I'm already finding a house to move into and you don't have to worry about anything like that. I want you to finish Uni and not let this slow any of your goals. We can make it work. It's going to work out.”

Louis pulls Harry into him again and gently kisses him once more. “It's going to work out,” Louis simply whispers against Harry's lips.

And it is.

**Author's Note:**

> Was it okay?
> 
> All good things? 
> 
> Please leave any comments and kudos! They're much appreciated. 
> 
> You can contact me @ fuckedinfrisco.tumblr.com if you have more questions or want to chat.
> 
> Much love. <3


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